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Eleventheshyone Feb 2019
" "
My beauty
He used to paint the deepest part of the ocean
It was the parts out of reach
My unknown
Eleventheshyone Feb 2019
I painted my walls the color of his skin
I tried to renovated
"Home"
Eleventheshyone Feb 2019
A little bit of you
Just enough for me
Enough to water the plants
Take up space in the biggest room
A little bit of you
Is just enough for me
Eleventheshyone Jan 2019
Everything smells differently in the rain
Mostly you on my skin
Loosely running down my fingertips
Between all ten toes

Detoxing

Breaking from you
Silently
Eleventheshyone Feb 2019
I...
Screamed at your chest HOPING
To reach your heart
That these words wouldn't settle  
Between wet ears


I bought tea and honey in the morning
I've been missing Lynn, a "fictional character" that has seem to make me rewrite my story...
Eleventheshyone Feb 2019
That smell of you still lingers
I've bleached the walls
Changed the linen
Hell, even threw away your
Favorite dress you loved to see me in
But the drainage from your memories
**** me
Will they say you're the cause of death
On my autopsy?
Eleventheshyone Feb 2019
Don't say I'm  blue
I'm not depressed
I'm blue
From seeing the sky
In all its glory
Eleventheshyone Feb 2019
I wish I knew about love
How to spot out a fake
I wish I knew how love breathed
How love smiled
How much love loved me
Sadly, I don't know
I just wanted love
I wish I knew love
And if love loved me
Eleventheshyone Jan 2019
I've pricked my finger once or twice sewing your name on the hems of garments
Spoke of you like religion
Bells tied around wrist
Love at my alter
You don't see God but you're still a believer
Eleventheshyone Feb 2019
I shouldn't love you

Yet you have a way of manipulating

Gravity

I fall for you even when standing still
Eleventheshyone Feb 2019
The day came when my pen no longer
Wrote your name
Freedom
Comes in many forms
Eleventheshyone Feb 2019
The waves weren't our enemies
Being to close to the ocean was
We
Were
Sand
Sculpted together
But not
Concrete
Eleventheshyone Feb 2019
Let's call it truths
Maybe
Let's just say we never loved
Maybe
I don't know
Maybe
You were only meant to teach me
Something maybe
Eleventheshyone Jan 2019
I don't think I'm built for this
Life
It has seem to remind me of how small I am
Between anxiety pills and tequila I've stared at reflections on walls and still haven't heard the answer to me being alone
Am I really that much where my lover's name had turned to ash on my tongue and he his hate stings my belly with guilt
What is this, life, when you have to gamble with your time and turn to strangers for absent love that makes you to repent to the Lord?
Is there any forgiveness for someone like me that can't make out warnings of my own destruction or understand that I'm drowning in my own tears?
I don't think I'm built for life
Hurry the blueprint might still be legible.
Eleventheshyone Jan 2019
I took a gold sharpie
Wrote your name on sidewalks
Bathroom walls
The sides of my shoes
The palm of my hands
I wrote your name everywhere

On everything  

So I can ignore how lonely I was

— The End —