I miss you sometimes
And it’s not that I don’t miss you other times
It’s just that
Sometimes
I freeze and I see you
And I hear your laugh
And I hear you call my name
And it takes everything in me
To not run to you
Because I know that you aren’t here anymore

The years go by faster the older I get
Can you let me know if I’m wasting precious time in advance?
I wish I could time travel but the seconds are still slipping past my fingertips before I can hold them.

I think it’s a blessing to find you in other people.
But you are not other people.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there.
I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye.
I’m sorry I can’t change the past.
I’m sorry.

if only you could see
i’m falling apart at the seams
a beautiful mess
as self distructuve as can be

you ask me to tell you
everything
but when i do
you brush it off like
it’s nothing to you
what’s going to happen
when i tell you
i’m feeling exceptionally blue
will you believe then
that it is true
or will you gasp
when i float off into the wind
like expired souls do