I went on a dark and bitter road
carrying with me a giant load
of anger, fear, and huge regret
and things I wanted to forget
relationship dissolved in fights
so I had to book some flights
to escape my mistake
when I had finally come awake
to see that there was no love here
filled me up with giant fear
I spread that fear all around
by air and sea and on the ground
drowning in puddles of my tears
Jesus reached down through my fears
He took my chin and raised my eyes
but I latched onto unhealthy guys
I prayed and prayed and pushed my way
But God said no, so I couldn't stay
this brought me to a choice, you see
do I trust Him or be angry?
I didn't get the thing I wanted
which could have left me lifelong haunted
Instead I chose to have some faith
not to try to play it safe
All the things I've ever tried
and all the stupid tears I've cried
have lead me to this place I see
where Jesus just wants to love me
When He said no, it was for my good
and now I'm in a much happier mood!
He brought me to battles I couldn't face
took me on runs I couldn't race
He put walls up I couldn't climb
and ran down clocks till out of time
so He could guide me along the way
to a beautiful, and happy day
because His plans for us are great
and with Him, it's never too late!
You won't be happy when you win
so you can go right back to sin
you win when you are already happy
I know it sounds a little bit sappy
So praise the Lord with all your heart
that is the first place to start
praise Him when you've got no reason
and soon you will, in it's due season
Thank Him when it makes no sense
especially when feeling tense
He will give you peace inside
so you don't have to run and hide
He fights our battles when we trust
and does whatever that He must
to show His love and abundance too
He wants you to know, that He loves you!

In the beginning when He created you and me
He only wanted us to always be happy
to have amazing fun, and relationships that last
not to have sins that we're escaping from our past

everything was good when He made it at the start
except for one thing, and that's a lonely heart
when it was all still perfect, nothing had gone bad
He created companionship, so our hearts would not be sad

All the lies you hear, that you are not enough
when things don't go your way, and life is kinda rough
you think He doesn't love you, that He doesn't care
you question whether or not He's even really there

You think you're being punished for everything you've done
but that's the very reason that He sent His only son
if you just accept you're loved, and go about your life
giving love to others, without fear of pain or strife

let God fill you up, then let those walls come down
don't protect yourself with walls built all around
open up your heart, and let them all come in
that will give you victory, that is how you win

the battle of the lonely heart, a paradox at best
push away, but long for love, just like all the rest
we're all in this together, if we could only see
reach out and love today, help change this world with me

I dreamt about a poem
Covered in cotton sheets,
Hanging from a clothes line.
And the air stirs,
The clouds pass by
Whispering somber utterances -
Words not meant for man.

And I walked out in frustration
From my bedroom morning light
Down the backyard porch steps
Into the wind
And said nothing.
I said nothing to the shadows.
Spoke not a word to the clouds.

Alone and forgotten
Waiting for the words to dry.

how many times
do I have to unbutton your pants
to hear the words
"I love you."

Being easily agitated
by those on the other teams side.
Is a sure symptom of living a lie.
I can see clearly on everybody’s side and no side at all.

Hallelujah from the heart of Leonard Cohen
just took Leonard and his old scratchy voice
into my heart. What a gift my music app
just slung into my afternoon
to wake me from my late afternoon fatigue.

I do not take these tech gifts for granted
remembering when I would have to get the LP album
from off the crammed shelf and play it on a turntable.

Here in a moment of peace
I look up and see the trees
and the neighbor’s garden
beyond my windows.

And I thank God for this lovely peaceful moment
thank my old piano teacher
and the conductor of the Houston Youth Symphony
where I sang before my voice changed
and my parents who carpooled me from our suburb
to the old auditorium downtown
where my young mind and soul were nourished
by adults who cared for our young minds and voices.

Who knew that the gifts of these people
would spring up in my mind eight decades later
and mental images of Leopold Stokowski who directed us
at a grand concert in the Houston Music Hall.
He loved children but delivered high pitched hell
to the symphony players at rehearsals.