Marty

Marty Apr 2018

I am so sorry for not getting back to everyone.!!! I have been in the hospital for a week. I will get to each of your wonderful comments in the next day or two.

Marty Apr 2018

The Carriage Arrives

As the ricochet of your pain has castrated the wind from my lungs, my lips parched and blue beg and gasp. Darkness encroaches and the beasts perch upon my chest. Rivers toppling the rocks in desperate pleas for life. Demons devouring daylights solitude with angry howls and invisible fangs. The Devils nefarious orchestra warming for a perilous journey. Daylight brings not the peace for fear lingers on. Oh but for a moments blink, a tiny draw through the cracks in the claws. Even if only to wet the lips with taste of air. Greed ask not for a breathe just cries and cries for the remembrance of fresh air. Oh but your love has so tainted the Devine equity that filled the lungs with dreams. Now each breathe tattoos agony and engrained hatred upon the soul. It is not your soul that is hated. Hatred comes for your lack of sympathy. Why did you not drive the dagger deeper into its sheathe. Planned out your torture was, but sweet death you would not give. The voices they can't hear, but understood they well are. Methodic chants of deaths door and the hinges of pain harmonize as they sing a sirens song. Eleven more days till the fiery carriage arrives. Seductive horses tamping an irresistible call. Into the darkness dust they scatter. Silence and happiness are there gift

Apr 2018

FreeMind

Endless Cycle of Nothing

Everything was falling apart.

Life was being crushed by all these Hopes and Dreams
That one has created for themselves but could never reach.
No matter the effort, Nothing worked out.
It was an endless cycle of disappointment...

You were there too. You stood and watched.
And yet were blind to all that was happening.
You did not feel that fire,
You did not feel the pain,
You ignored the tsunami of issues that consumed me whole.

How could you?
How could you be so oblivious to the torture I was put through?
Why did you?
Why did you leave when I needed you most?

Death is a joke and I can't stop laughing...

-FreeMind

1

#poem #hope #dream #nothing

Marty Apr 2018

My Arms Around You

The feeling of being alone still haunts
My mind
First time I saw you still excites
My heart

I can still see your beauty with
My eyes
Your skin I can still feel with
My hand

The moment you said yes
Time stood still
As my arms wrapped around you
I felt safe

For the first time I could feel
Real love
For the first time my body didn't
Feel abused

The only time I couldn't feel my abusers
Touching me
All I could feel was myself
Inside you

Finally I felt my heart beat
With yours
Finally my mind was free
From pain

Never would I have believed
Et tu brute
Now another looks in
Your eyes

As upon the pillow my
Blood spills
And in the final
Night

My body screams for the shelter
Of your arms
My ears scream for
Your voice

But you aren't there
Are you
You left me alone and
To die

Your wish shall finally
Come true
Your desires have
Shown through

I meant nothing
To you
I was only shelter and money in
Your pocket

Now watch as my friends
Line up
To only see my face in
Their dreams

Now you can watch as
They carry me away
Alive or dead
I am worthless

For you took
My heart
And my soul died
That day

How do you ever forget the only one you ever felt true love for. Is life really worth the pain if you can't feel love. Who shall ever love me now?

Apr 2018

Rebecca Sue

Unknowingly Questioning

Blacken my heart
Capture my Soul
All these ways
And I don't know where.
Where to go?

Anger boils my core
Alone I wander
My heart beats softly
And I want to know why
Why it beats on?

Time continues to haunt me
Clinging to the past
It grips me tightly
And I need to know how
How I let go?

Am I found now?
No. Surely I am lost
My nature has left me
It tempted me with a place to go
It whispered why I am here
And then it told me to let go,
by giving into the pain.

I didn't want to listen
Just let me stay here with my questions.
It's comfortable having that control
It's peaceful to live within the known.

#questions #unknown #peace #nature #selfesteem #anger #strength #answers #faith

Marty Apr 2018

Will You Think of Me When You Dance

Upon the floor your feet,
Shuffle and shuffle to the beat.
Rosey smiles upon your face.
The happiest heart in the place.

Will you think of me when you dance?
I'm sure there's not a heavens chance.
I lie motionless all alone in my bed.
As visions of you put another gun to my head.

Never did I think you would leave me.
There wasn't a chance that you would be,
The horrible **** that you became.
You made our love seem so lame.

Cry not for my broken heart
For you have made me a part.
Of the dance I dance tonight
Oh but so soft as we take flight.

A fine line we dance in the dark
Careful not on a journey to embarque.
Deeper and deeper to keep the screams quite
Into the pillow we bury out of site.

Wrapping the wounds tighter than tight.
As the gentle flow, tries to win the fight.
Tonight was a little to deep
As through the cloth it seeps

Maybe
Tonight is the night
Aside the cloth I should throw
And not be afraid to go

Will you think of me when you dance?
It is of you my eyes shall be
As past this life I prance
And my God I see.

Forever isn't long enough for a heart that truly loves

#suicide #cutting #love #cheating #lost

Marty Mar 2018

Friendship

I'll throw you a line if
gentle with my heart you shall be
accepting of my spirit wild and free
as understanding pain took my glee

We all need friends so I'll throw a lifeline
forever my heart you shall have the key
I want to know the line's strong so give me a sign
with love make your days mine
and hold tight to the friendship line
forever in eternity intertwined

This was a collaboration between me and my great friend the well known and illustrious, poetic goddess MARY-ELIZABETH. And yes she is the mastermind behind the brilliant poem, not me. Check her poetry out. She is amazing