I don‘t know what to say
I‘ve already thanked you for loving me so much
Although I wished you‘d love me less
I never asked for all of your heart
I‘m very grateful that you worry about me
but I‘m afraid you‘re wasting all your time
I‘m tired and I‘m worn out
and it‘s scary because I used to be so bright
I can see that this is worsening
You tell me everyday
I‘m sorry that I‘m hurting you
But you‘re hurting anyway

We're afraid to live.
We're afraid to die.
We're afraid to try.
We're afraid of what happens if we don't try.
We're afraid to love.
We're afraid to commit.
We're afraid people think we're full of ****.
We're afraid of the truth.
We're afraid to lie.
We're afraid people will think we're weak if they see us cry.
We're afraid to feel.
We're afraid of fear.
But knowledge is power.
So now that you know what you fear,
what are you going to do about it right now? Right here?

I know you won’t read this
and I know you won’t care
but I will tell you what it was like.

It was blurry.
it was slow
but time was running fast.
It was dusty feet
and dusty souls.
It was feeling nothing
and then all at once.
It was hating you
to drown the urge of hugging you.
It was writing a poem
and post it
wishing you will relate to it.

But who cares,
you don’t.

No more poems, thank you;
I think that I'm done.
My notebook's half empty,
And apathy's won.

Please turn off the music;
My songs are all sung.
I think the night's over,
Although it's still young.

No more words, I beg you;
Just slice off my tongue!
They're just wasted air,
From a withering lung.

I've no more left to say;
Time to blot out the sun.
My notebook's half empty,
And apathy's won.

i was born
with a heart too big to fit
inside my chest
and a soul bigger than my body
so i have chosen
to leave pieces of my heart
in the places my feet have known
in the people i have loved
in the words i have read
in the beauty my eyes have seen
and my soul-
i have scattered it like seeds
and i have left parts of it
in songs,
in poetry,
in the laughter of children,
in the arms that have held me
and the hearts that have loved me

You were a pallet
Emitting from me all the colors in which my body holds so dearly and tightly

You were red like the burning passion that came to my soul when our voices collided and created a beautiful depiction of what we one day could be-
planned on being

You were orange like the sunrises we would watch in the mornings while practicing our favorite songs despite what the people around us would say-
I never knew I would miss those times so much

You were yellow like your walls that you hated maybe because of the color but maybe also because they bound you in a place I know you didn't actually want to be-
you didn't very much like your family

You were green like the life that poured out of the plants on the outside and sometimes even on the inside of us-
roses that sometimes came with thorns

You were blue like the walls in my room- as many people would call them even though I always told them it was periwinkle-
not blue
you listened to me though and everything was okay

You were purple like the color of the shirt I wore the last time we talked face to face-
just yesterday though it wasn't a real conversation
it hasn't been a real conversation in a while

You were white like how everything seemed so pure in your eyes-
so beautiful, so wonderful, so lovely
like snow that we haven't actually seen in years

And then you were black
you were missing, you were gone
you were everything that I didn't think was actually there until it engulfed me


You were the perfect pallet that I needed and that I used to have
until all that was there was black ash on the ground

Missing you was...grey? I guess
it's nice sometimes but it's not what I want
grey is so much easier to come by than silver
silver is what we used to have-no not even that
it was more like gold

The colors we used to have were so perfect
all the light shining out of us
until that white light became a yellow wall, sunset orange, passion red flame that only left me with colorless black ash on the dying green grass under a fading periwinkle-not blue- and purple colored conversations sky