When I say "I miss you"
it's not just an automatic response
like when people say
How are you I'mfine
or
It wasn't my fault
or
You have the right to remain silent!
These are just normal, day-to-day conversations
and I forget we need them sometimes
But
I do not have the right to remain silent
when after I write ten times how much I miss you,
and that I think about you every time I check the mail,
or make a peanutbutter sandwich,
and all you write is a lousy "Lol. K."
I do NOT have the right to remain silent
when how much I miss you is as big as the rain,
the rainbow, and the *** of gold at the end of it,
when how much I miss you hurts so much
that it makes me wonder what it feels like to not feel like this,
I will not remain silent when you just say,
'miss u 2'
because I miss you in that stalker-ish way
that the waiter misses serving you your morning coffee
because he thinks you're kinda cute
or the way that girl always finds a way to walk by you
even though you rejected her other other night
and she clearly isn't over you...
When I'm sick of how "I miss you"
doesn't make the universe
implode
and it's disappointing when you don't hear everyone in the world screaming "Yes" at
the same time
I want you to hear the silence
when you see me off at the airport, train station, wherever,
I want "I miss you" backwards to spell "Because, that's why"
instead of having a reason why I called you.
I want to not run out of things to say when I finally
call you
I want "I miss you" to mean
everything again, including, I love you, you're so awesome,
what does your new haircut look like, and unfortunately
our own lives are so messy
that distance no longer makes sense
But,
hey,
I guess our memories were worth it.

Upon your clothesline I have been stretched for somewhere between hours and minutes. The rope burns my skin, my weight sags from pins.
I can feel wrinkles forming where I'm pinched and pulled, and an out-of-place heaviness rests on my drooping shoulders.
I do not belong here, among your delicates, your laces and silks. I deserve nothing more than to be soaked in the wash bin with graying rags.
Yet you have seen something in me, a rarity of fabric, of color. Something that is deserving of special detergent and air-drying.
And in your presence, the bad thoughts and negativity slowly evaporates, leaving me like drip after drip of tearful water.

तुम्हारे जाने पे मैं रोया नहीं
न मैंने किसी से कुछ भी कहा
मैं बस कुछ दिन चुप रहा

पर देखा मैंने सब कुछ
और उससे भी ज़्यादा मैंने सहा

वो नीली कमीज जो तुम
अक्सर पहनते थे
वो आज भी प्रेस कर के
करीने से रखी है अलमारी में मैंने।  

तुम्हारी ऐनक टी वी के ऊपर
और छाता खूँटी पे टंगा है.. .

पिछली बारिश में
हम भीगे बहुत पर तुम्हारा
छाता नहीं छुआ..
याद है मुझको की
तुमको नहीं पसंद
तुम्हारी चीज़ें कोई इधर उधर रखे। .

तुम्हारा जूता मोची से सिल्वा कर
ठिकाने पे रख दिया है
घडी में भी सेल पड़वा दिए हैं। ।

बगल के टेलर को कुर्ते में
अस्तर लगाने को
और
माँ को तुम्हारा बिस्तर लगाने को कह दिया है।  

पापा ....
पता है मुझको
की तुम थक कर आओगे
पर इस बार
तुम कुछ ठहर जाना
आराम करना
मैं जूते उतार दूंगा
और पाँव भी दबा दूंगा  
जो तुम कहोगे
वो सब करूँगा मैं
बस तुम ठहर जाना

पता है पापा …
पिछली बार बड़े अचानक
चले गए थे ।


अनन्य नागर
पुणे

As the raindrops hit my skin...
The feeling of tears fall within....

As I look through the pouring rain.....
I hide the feelings of all my pain.....

The darkened clouds drift in the night.....
Reminds me of love with fear and freight....

As the rain stops and my skin dries....
Feelings of lonelyness begin to die.....

The clouds have now cleared.....
I shed those feelings of love and fear...

Now that the rain has passed....
Along with my criticism of my past...

The light now gets closer within my grasp....
I look to the future for the life I ask....

When you contaminated my hate
You chilled me to my bones
Time and time again
You just gave me the kick!
Oughta my own ****** home
Acting like you love someone
Just do me that real favor
And simply look in your mirror
For your love's untrue
Now I can see it's not me
It's you Love!