i can't do anything right.
i always sabotage myself.
ALWAYS
it's the little things, you know ?
the little decisions & mistakes i make are the ones that keep me in this state of mind.
my day is good for 1 hour, max overall daily, the other 23 hours are ****.
i HATE feeling this way but my ******* consists of making these actions that lead me to the worst.
i keep messing up this one great thing in my life at the moment with these little stupid decisions i make.
i need out, i don't want to live here no more,
but i don't know where to go.
just keep hitting me & pulling my hair.
don't stop.
the more you hit me, the better i feel after, honestly.
i'm serious, every hit hurts less & less,
so just keep going until you tire yourself out.
i already know i'm not good enough, ungrateful, selfish, & also not worth,
so just keep going until you can't no more.
then the next morning you'll come to me, & i'll try to look at you back
but my eyes will be halfway closed because
they're so puffy from all the crying from last night,
you'll apologize & tell me i can't do this anymore
but you know i'll do the same because
i don't know what else to do,
you'll hug me & tell me
that you love me very much,
i'll cry one more tear,
you'll look at me one more time & leave the room.
the rest of the week you'll be really nice & lovely &
by the next week the 2-hour arguments & fights will start again & we just keep going in circles.

he looks at me as if
i were a precious jewl
he locks his eyes on me
when im not looking
mesmerizing
he passes by as if he
couldn't see me
he is shy to do more
than wave
he is prideful
but his beautiful
sparkly eyes
they trap me & hold me
his curly, dark, fluffy
hair has my thoughts
wanting my hands to
play with it
his nice, bright, big smile
makes me want to kiss
him all day long . . .

how can  you with  someone who wants  to **** themselves  everytime they feel sad  or somebody  yells at them ?  how can you  be someone  who´s  scared of commitment ? how can you  be  with  someone with abandonment issues ? how can you be with someone that needs reasurement everyday or if not they think you no longer want them ? how can you be  with someone so emotional ? how can you  love  someone  who don´t even love  themselves ?  how can you be  with someone  so  emotionally  unstable  ?  how  can  you be  with  someone  who constantly  sabotages  themselves ?  how  can  you be  with someone so lazy ? how can you be with someone  who don´t see  beyond their  flaws ? how can you  be with  someone who has  bipolarity ? how  can you be  with  someone depressed ? how can you be with someone so negative ? how can you be with someone   who  settles  for  less ? how  can  you be  with  someone  that  takes everything   seriously ?   how   can   you   be   with   someone   so   sensitive ?
how could you be with me ?

Love will never leave us,
is something god gave to us as a gift,
even though it usually harms us