To be or not to be: Favorites

Nov 2019 To be or not to be

Angel

It was there again
I mean
It came to me again
With a slow numbness
N grip on the throat
Weight on my chest
& shake of my head
It was all there again
Again
Once again
It’s got me
This time it was terrifying
Because I’d have lived
Without
For longer this time
So this time it felt like
Fear
Instead of comfort

#depression #sadness #fear #numbness #emotions #overwhelmed

Nov 2019 To be or not to be

Comfort In The Storm

Nov 2019 To be or not to be

Angel

Comfort In The Storm

Freckled window
With touches of orange
Purple & grey skies
So close
The air feels thick
As if the world is still
for only a moment
The sky snaps with life
rumbles with such grace
As if it’s known since
the beginning of time
exactly what to do to make
me feel

Oct 2019 To be or not to be

Joker

Oct 2019 To be or not to be

Scarlet M

Joker

a ridiculed soul deemed
worthless
trapped by society's
undefeated cruelty
vile memory repressed
still lingers in his throat
the tittering grows
louder
as his laughter echoes
uncontrollably, resentful
and frightened
desiring only but one
semblance of normality
but humanity has
crumbled
how could this world
be so ruthless to someone
who they have denied
to Youー
a man born from chaos

#joker #mental #health #awareness #depression #movie #grunge #arthur #fleck

Jan 2019 To be or not to be

From Whatever

Jan 2019 To be or not to be

Angel

From Whatever

If this may be it
Please conform
To the wishes of the
Switch

I may not know

But I know this is it
I’m afraid of the
Time in which this
Clicks

This may be it

I need some conversation, my brain is imploding, the river of thought is stirring, I’m nervous, I hope this isn’t the ******* of life surrounded by my expression of life. I need some quite, but this energy is reprised by sight.

Sep 2018 To be or not to be

Untitled

Sep 2018 To be or not to be

Logan Pete

Untitled

I feel like I'm breathing fire after each and every shot of this London dry gin
His soliloquy of his descent into ****** language and madness accompanied by lucid memories.
Only a genius can play the fool perfectly
This articulate fellow follows his exploits through a drug fuelled expedition
Epic in all of its madness and lascivious undertones
He hears music playing his soul in a opera
And that's why he loves to visit that dark place with these liqour spirits acting as a bus ticket to the heart of it.

May 2018 To be or not to be

Abnormal

May 2018 To be or not to be

Logan Pete

Abnormal

Soberness sounds to me like a vacation to never ever land
Some places I take micro flights just to see the sights but never ever land
Wish I could grow wings and disappear from this bleak existence
A final fantasy that would fufill this
depressed existence
Learned behaviours that I thought we're always normal
From the other side of life my life style is abnormal

Lifestyle of young Logan

#soberness

Apr 2018 To be or not to be

Mirror

Apr 2018 To be or not to be

Logan Pete

Mirror

The person I once knew has walked away from the mirror
Leaving me to dwell upon past memories
Past regrets
I'm drowning inside of a liqour bottle
Fallin into a deep depression I'm not sure I can win
From time to time
Another man comes to the mirror
It's me with new memories and regrets
The cycle continues every second
Every breath
Every breath

#depression

Apr 2018 To be or not to be

sorry's

Apr 2018 To be or not to be

Angel

sorry's

I go to the washroom to freshen up
The bar is loud
I smell something familiar
Smells like you
It smells like you
Comfort
I don't want to lose you
I'm sorry
I'm ******, I know
We're fcked
We know

#hope #longing #unfamiliar #familiarity #dependant

Apr 2018 To be or not to be

You Never Know

Apr 2018 To be or not to be

Angel

You Never Know

It came as a wave
I was doing the back stroke
felt the clear water beneath me
it was calm at first
safe even
I didn't think about how deep it was
I didn't think about how dark it could get
I thought about how clear the water was
how warm the surface was
the moon and the sun fought to be my light
my legs went under
then my waist
then my arms
my body started to tingle
I only glanced
the depth was luring
I felt myself slip into the paralyzingly cold water
I couldn't feel the sun anymore
the moon laughed
the water wasn't calm anymore
it was time
my head went under
I had oxygen but it only lasted so long
my head felt light & I wasn't in control anymore
I seen creatures you'd never see at the surface
I drifted & didn't dare gasp
The jellyfish danced around me as I watched everything go black
They just danced

#depression #anxiety #calm #familiarity