anxiety strikes me like a sudden glucose spike. bloodstream is gushed with nothing but the thrill of a chase. the nerves though, not doing so well. my reality is going to be more distorted than usual.

when anxiety strikes, they don't knock on the door. they come with a bang, and hang in the air like an acoustic foam. you know, train of thoughts and stream of sounds can wander anywhere in the room, but seem futile to get across time and space. they can only travel so much in here, in a vacuumless vessel. a deafening silence, a chaos in a stillness, and i think it best describes it. i can look composed and pour you a glass of water, and i won't even realize if it overflows.

when anxiety leaves, i don't think you know it left. you would question its existence, why isn't it with you today.  it might feel like a weight being lifted up on your shoulder, but you don't feel any lighter. it feels heavier because of its disappearance. you are so used to its presence, because anxiety keeps you busy in your head. and when you finally have a moment of peace, you self-doubt yourself if you have stopped living your life.

cry,
cry yourself a river.
maybe then, you'll finally have a reason to build a bridge
and get over it.

i hand out my lifeline to you,
quiver in silence,
wondering if you'd ever do the same.