I am riding the waves of the ocean
Worried that I may drown into motion
How I dream to swim against the current
Hoping I can arrive on the shore of my comfort

I've been loved.
I've been lost.
But never have I ever loved and lost myself this way.

I wanted to know how he treats you
I’m wishing I could one day be you
So I’ll know if your assumption is true

I was once like you
I’m assuming without admission from him

But unlike you
I never tried to tell anyone my feelings
I never expected that he loves me too

And unlike you
He fell for me
He chose me
He said he loves me

But unlike you
You can be proud of your feelings
While he keeps me a *secret

As the liquor undulates down my throat,
burning a little more at each swallow
like lighting a match with wet fingers
I realize that in this moment
I am not worried about you
I am too busy sequestering my existence
with alcohol that does not remind me of you at all
the one thing that can not summon your name to my mind
one thing that makes me forget you, even if only for a little while
Fueled by liquid fire
nature’s neutrality doesn't do much
for this current wave
of lust and infatuation
I am only a girl
fragile, choleric
& craving something to fill the hole you left
And I know I will wake up in the morning
with regret, a headache, and an empty stomach
It can take 2 hours, 8 hours or a full day
to get alcohol out of your system.
but it's going to take
much more than time,
to remove you from mine.

It’s been at least three
Full moons since I gave and I
Haven’t stopped bleeding

You always give
He receives
You're always there for him
He's rarely present for you

Is this one-sided?

You give time
but he's too busy
You try to make him laugh
but he's not happy

You're expecting
You're waiting
But you know very well
It is unrequited

For this love will only be true to you
But will never be to him

Remember, this is one-sided.