"I'm sorry."
Sorry for what?
Sorry for not caring?
Sorry for all the times you were
forced to say it?
Sorry for every time
you weren't?
Cause yeah.
Me too.

It hurts, you know.
That I wasn't there, to save you.
I wouldn't have been able to anyway,
but I would have tried.
So I will remember you,
Everyday.
I'll see you in your brothers,
And hear you in every piece.
And I'd like to dedicate this writing,
In loving memory.




Dedicated to Edgar.

Do you know what I want
more than anything?

I want to understand why it takes
so much pain to be able to
describe in detail
how the sky bends.

I want to understand why you caused me to see your eyes as pale instead of piercing.

I want to understand why a pretty face and slim waist is valued over a higher understanding and a way with words.

I want to understand why something is considered beautifully written, just because it hurts to write.

I want to understand the world, but that's asking a bit much, so I'll settle for this:

I want to understand you.

We watched
With shells in our bags
Dominoes in boxes,
Marionette distractions
Letter passing
Pure manipulation
Colors of our childhoods
A brother through window pain
And learned to see beauty
Without having to understand

I've listened to the same song
For weeks

I cut my hair short cause I was feeling edgy

I wrote a screen play about abuse ****** and insanity

You want to know why I stay anonymous?

Because if you don't know my name, age, religion or position,

You can't believe my name is the definition of innocence.

You
My best friend
Layed out your heart
Fears, tears and vulnerability
In a room
That should have been locked
Laughed at a donut left behind
Described your depression
A terrifying look inside
And we sat there
Emotionally exhausted
Broken
But broken together.

Learn to drive.