i ask, i pray for god to put me out my misery.
to wither me emotionless with the lesser
ability to exist and not full of feelings.
for my own sanity, i plead for dire
consequences for my own self
worth as I’ve made excuses
and pathetic decisions
that plague my life
as I ask for god.
I ask for god.
I ask.

through all the nights i spent
utterly smitten for you and searching for the
longing of a life with you that
intrigues even the simplest of ideas that
plays over and over in my head.

if i could reach out to you, i would.
i would shelter you from the abyss of
the darkness that ebbs away your livelihood.
i would gather your shards into my hands
and keep them together; glue them, in fact.
i would comb through your pitch black locs,
scratch at your scalp and rub at the throbbing temples.
i would hold onto your slipping sanity; keeping it from falling off your conscience through and through.
i would wipe away at the trails of wetness tunneling down your cheeks and kiss your swollen eyelids that house your chocolate orbs filled to the brim with grief—grief for your childhood dying.
i would embrace you. i would allow you to listen to the drumming of my heart to soothe the thoughts that plague your mind.
i would reassure you in ways you haven’t thought about yourself—allowing you to swallow me whole.
i would wipe away the seeping black ooze that wishes to taint your soul—to fill you to the brim with impurities that seek to destroy you.
i would sing out the world’s hope to inspire newfound joy deep within the depths of doubt.
if i could reach out to you, i would.

We fell in love by chance,
We stay in love by choice.

there was a moment in time
when death sat beside me on a park bench
and he had rested his hand on the gap between us

i,

too,

rested my hand there
and brushed my fingers against his

and for a chaste moment
i savoured the warmth of his skin
and intertwined my hand with his

but he stood up

and left

and maybe he knew,

it was for the better.

i tried to find
a song
a poem
a piece of art
something, anything
that felt like
or sounded like
you

i looked
and searched
asked
and wondered
yet no matter what
i tried
there was nothing
that came close

for you
my platonic soulmate
are one of a kind
a light in the dark
warm, soft
kind, loving
selfless
a best friend

i couldn't find anything
because
nothing
nothing is like you

I rise to greet the dawn

distracting my heart

I take a sip of dark roast

and exhale

today I will

just breathe