I woke up this morning
With this thought in my head
What's going to go wrong
Once I get out of bed

I don't go looking for trouble
I'd rather let it be
But trouble in life
Always seems to find me

So I take a deep breath
Place my feet on the floor
Stepping right into the present
My dog left me the night before

This is not the place
to tell someone you love them
for the first time,
and although I do not believe you,
I smile.

You are not the one
who should be apologizing.
I am the one leaving,
I will take that piece of you with me
(the one you said was mine).

There are flowers beside my bed
sprayed and dyed into
the type of artificial beauty
that can only be appreciated against a white room.

You look at my hands so you do not have to
face the blue circles under my eyes.
You try to laugh like we used to
but there is a carefulness to your disposition
that was never there before;
you are afraid to break me.

I think it's strange that
your heart seems more shattered than mine;
that I try to stay strong for you.
I think it's unfair that
when visiting hours end and you stand to leave,
you drop my hand one finger at a time
and you tell me you love me like
it is the last time,
every time.
I think it is unfair
that you are the one
with last words.

Anorexia
is the most deadly mental disorder
and maybe that is why
I tell myself I am fat,
maybe the reason I cry
when I look in the mirror
is because there is
110 pounds
too much of me
95 pounds
too much of me
80 pounds
too much of me,
I will not be content
until there is no weight left to lose,
until this skin is turned cold
and falls off my body,
I will be
counting the ribs you can see
on my corpse.
I will make myself smaller
and smaller
and smaller
until there is nothing left
to take away.

His smirk was the stuff of legends.
When taunted with loud rude remarks 
And thoughtless offensive assumptions.
His expression a quick stark reminder.

He did not need to raise his voice 
Or wage war with fists or words
For the source of his power
Was in the curve of his brow

His refute neatly imbued
In his wry handsome semi-smile.
That made them shrink back
To feel small and absurd.

Red
I remember the crimson glow that use to leak from my thighs
I miss it
Gray
My skin turned an awful shade of grey but it was wrapped around bones
Not fat
Pink
Little scars along my legs
They're screaming
Blue
All the pills I took to not feel so alone
I'm still lonely
Purple**
The rings around my eyes from when I couldn't sleep at all
They're still there

My perception of you
is a reflection of me
of all I once knew
and all that I see

Your reception of me
is a reflection of you
of all that you see
and all you once knew

Nothing we see
Is entirely true
If both you and me
Set our mirrors askew

Eye to eye
Heart to Heart
We realize we
Are all a part

Heart to heart
Eye to eye
We realize love
Will never die

See into
each other's minds
With all our mirrors
now aligned

Through each other
We can see
We reflect forever
to infinity

I find it funny
how so many people
who sing about peace and understanding
are terrible people, full of hate,
while so many people
who sing about the nature of hate, itself,
are so peaceful and understanding.

Keeping up
is far easier than
catching up.

He loved her.
And
She loved him.
But neither knew.
So when they woke up,
Together,
They thought it was a mistake,
And neither chose to be the first to wake,
And accidentally right the wrong,
So they both slept forever.