I can hear it...
the dial of the phone
the shaken voice
the melancholy howls,
disquieted cries,
the sound of my heart beat
and the ringing in my ears,
the agonal movement of my lungs,
and the rapidness of my breath
I can see the distraught faces
then the sounds grow dimmer,
further away,
and everything blurs
as I close my eyes

A puppet on a string.
Every movement
Every word
A mimic
A rehearsal
Every breath is controlled

It wants to see the world
It wants to be free
But all the puppet can do
Is hang off its string


It wants to make friends
It wants to be happy
But it meets the string’s ends
And life’s quite ******  
It can see
But it cannot reach
It can hear
But cannot speak

If only it were free
Then it would speak
It if were free
It could reach

But the hands that hold it
Are its own
And it can’t decide
When to let go…..

I thought I knew you….

I thought I knew you
But I didn’t
I thought I saw you
But I couldn’t
I couldn’t see through
The mask you wore
Your smile
Your laugh
Hiding the pain you bore

I thought I knew you
But I didn’t
I thought I saw you
But I couldn’t
I should have seen the signs
Realized the mask you held
And the cries behind

The jokes you made
The things you’d say
Holding in thoughts day by day

I finally knew you
But it was too late
I finally saw you
But you couldn’t wait
The pain
The cries
All off the white lies
You were fighting something dark inside

I told you I loved you
But I wasn’t there
I told you I cared
But I was unaware
And now you’re gone
I could prove you wrong
Thinking I didn’t care
I took too long
And now my heart as a tear

I’m stuck in a pool
And I cannot swim
I waste another breath
Every moment I spend
I want out but
Keep on drowning again

For every time I do
Try to swim
Try to catch my breath
Heading towards the “top”
I hit the bottom and
And the water sinks in
Filling my lungs
The lights going dim

It’d be much easier if I open my eyes
But what I’ll see to no surprise
Would be the top
Where I am scared to go
So I keep on drowning