i found that i am not entitled
to those who care for me most.
mainly because my heart
is incapable of returning the favor.

i need you more than you think i do.

they call me a liar.
and i admit that i am,
but the thing is that
i don’t care because
i stopped feeling a
long time ago.
except that is a lie too

what have we done?
lying gets us nowhere
and now we are in deep.

i am not sure how to feel
or how to react but i know
that nothing good will come
from this.

i feel so strongly about you
and try to show it.
maybe you are just blind
or maybe i am just
making too many excuses for you.

i don't deserve this, i have done
nothing wrong.
but i still feel guilty

and yes, of course i have a close friend
that can listen so this weight
can be lifted
but if i told them
i could hurt them,
and make them feel the same way.

I have been in this
Position one too many
Times, and this time
Hurts the worst.
But the reason I help,
The reason I care, is
Because I realize that
You have been there too
And I look up to you for
Getting through it.

so many People talk about me behind my back,
They are claiming to be my friend and
make fun of me.
have They ever thought "maybe she is tired of it
and thats why she doesn't laugh"?

i wish i was different too and
if only you knew what i do to make
others happy. but i will give you a hint
and it involves making myself miserable.

and all i need you to do is stop and think
for only one second before you speak of me.

I get in the car and
Burst into tears.
I am not sure what
Has gotten into me,
There has been a lot
On my mind I guess.
I am starting to believe
Everyone’s opinions-
But I have to be strong
For my own good.

A distance.
You are a part of me,
that was taken away.
Little did I know that with out you,
I fall apart completly.

I look at your face,
behind you an airport;
where you leave me,
for who knows how long.

And you never know how much I break,
and I don't want you to ever find out.
Though you often see glimpses of this-
calling you crying, desperate for
someone to hear me out.

Don't leave me again,
I can't take it anymore,
you mean more to me than
anyone else.
Don't forget that.

I will always need you,
and one day we will find a way
for you to stay.

But for now, you leave tomorrow.
But for now, I will keep breaking.
But for now, we will keep wishing.

And the next time I see you I will try
to fill you in on life here.
But I don't ever think you
will keep up.

So I will see you later,
whenever later may be.

You’ve changed.
Everything about you has changed.
You took your flowers and
Trees and ripped them from the ground,
And now I can’t recognize you.
Your past was mine and your present
Saw through to me.
But since you changed I feel blind.

Sometimes I feel you
Don’t want to come home again

We all miss you here
And you know it,
But that is the thing;
You don’t care what others think.

You told me that I'm not enough,
You left me fearful of myself-
embarrassed even...

And yet again I am wanting
the ground to swallow me whole.
At least I will be away from you,
which is for my own good even though
I want to be with you more than anything.

You sit on the couch and stare
at the black screen of the tv.
You can't fall apart now,
we need you more than you
could imagine, so it hurts when you hurt.

I can't take it just as much as you can't,
you were the one to raise me and I can
now walk in your shoes; so I, of anyone knows,
you need to take a step back.

Don't do this to yourself, don't do this to me.
Keep composure- i can't get my words out fast
enough for you to hear because if it lasts too long,
you won't listen.

And now you're leaving,
we almost got through it,
and now you're leaving.

You think its better but its worse;
leaving me not knowing what to do.
Leaving me with a family that's yours.

Someone help, we are drowning in
anguish and can't save ourselves.

We met you again
just months ago.

And today you have helped
pull my family apart.

So good job,
I hope you're happy.

I can hear and see your lies from
miles away.

Maybe the distance is a gift but
That remains unknown.

I enjoy when you are happy,
But it never last long.

Soon enough, you scream-
you hit.

Which is followed with more lies.
Your actions have caused more hurt than imagined.

Nothing seems to ever stop you,
Not even the love of your life taking all you have known away.

What I remember most is when I had to scream back,
telling you to stop.

You Never Listened.