Beneath my smile, things decay,
soft rot dressed in polite silence.
Hope is a maggot, writhing—
feeding on what’s left untouched,
too small to ****,
too stubborn to die.

Maybe I’m a wind-up toy robot, blindly walking down this path,
maybe I’m a pullback toy car, moving forward by taking a few
steps back. Maybe I’m a box of random Lego pieces, building up
a life, without an instruction manual, maybe I’m just a firecracker,
exploding with less passion – so I sometimes add fuel.

Maybe I’m the one trapped in the castle; quietly hoping the world
doesn’t see a man battling his own dragons, as a damsel, maybe I
don’t know how to fight for myself, cos I was shown that fighting
as a believer isn’t a good example.

Maybe I’m looking for love, just because everyone seems to be  
falling in love, maybe I’m trying to fit my hand in everything,
to protect myself from failure – wearing all the title gloves.

Maybe, maybe, maybe – but all the maybes aren’t always the
possibilities we want. So maybe I should instead be more definite
on all the needs I want.

"No, not like that. That's not how
You're supposed to behave around
Other people. What will they
Think of you now?
What will they say?
Stop moving, they're going to
Stare at you.
You're being too
Loud.
Chin down. You look proud.
Why can't you smile more?
They didn't approach you before
You did them because you feel
Like an ah lian. No one
Wants to deal
With you. You're no fun
To be with. Stop talking.
No more dancing while walking.
Don't waste their time. No.
You can tell they want you to go
Away.
Why are you so
Emo
Today?
What's wrong with you?
What're you trying to do?
Why are you intruding? They
Don't need you to stay.
Stop disturbing people. Go make
More friends, you loner. Can take
Less food or not? You need
A 23-
Inch waist, I say already.
Ayah, not smart enough.
Why so weak? It's not that tough.
Wash your face
And wake up. This place
Is too
Good for you."
See?
It's easy
To be
My own Asian aunty.

Holding on to the memories like a lifeline
Preventing me from the downfall to reality
This is the last strand of my sanity.

From the bright warm fields of babylon
I descend into the depths of the ocean.
Cold and frigid
Lifeless and sad.
Am I allowed to be mad?

A Heart snatched
Feelings still attached
My Mood trashed
For what?
Nothing.
Am I really guilty as sin?
Or is it just me
Forever falling short
Forever never enough.

I see you in the places we once knew,
a glimpse of your shadow in passing view.
Your name lingers on my silent tongue,
a song unsung, forever young.

We walk the same streets, breathe the same air,
yet fate pretends we’re unaware.
A step too late, a turn too wide,
always reaching—never collide.

I hear your laughter in echoes dim,
like a melody lost within the wind.
Fingers stretch, but time won’t bend,
a story stuck with no real end.

We could meet, yet we stay apart,
two lost souls with tangled hearts.
So close—yet worlds away,
a touch we’ll never let replay.

The silence is my only friend
The one whom I yearn for to sit with me
In quiet nights alone in bed
And like hushed snow drifting down
Silence comes along, a ghost
Tucks in all my thoughts
To bed
Till they wake the next day