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Esme Calder Sep 10
I know that there was a line that I sewn upon my skin
Thread made of emotions that I couldn’t hold on to
They slipped and slid and came out of my grasp
And if I tried to lock them away, they’d easily undo the clasp
I sit at a wheel, my finger at a thorn,
Spinning roses, and flowers, and threads for toys
If I can create something, something to be kept,
Would I someday find these things again and learn to accept?
Or would the thread someday fade and unwind behind the scenes
Undoing in the corners, ripping the seams
Things like these, I know, weren’t meant to last forever
They were meant to be loved, cared for, watched, and maintained.
But if I cannot move myself from this bed,
And catch the hands of the monster speaking in my head
Would I be able to learn how to thread the eye of the needle
So I could learn to love again?
Esme Calder Sep 10
The flowers died on Monday
like my heart on my birthday
Like my eyes on christmas
and my soul every night
The flowers died on Monday
it's due for another change
but I can't get out of bed
and I don't know what to say
I can't bring them back to life
like you when you hold me
Helping me breathe a breath
that wasn't meant to be
The flowers died on Monday
The red turning to a sickly brown
The once smiling face
quickly turned to a frown
The flowers died on Monday
They were never meant to live
this society goes on
and the dirt that falls on me gives
The flowers died on Monday
like I'll on a Sunday
a day after my passing,
they'll pass too
to be in my hand to be given
to a younger girl in me
So I could convince her
that we were never meant to be
She'll hold those flowers
as she'll stand at my grave
read those carved words a thousand times
and she'll learn to say goodbye
The flowers died on Monday
Will someone put more?
Esme Calder Sep 10
I know I should be happy, with things given to me of love
But I can’t help it when everything is lost and gone
They’d tell me, At least you held it while it was there,
And if it’s ripped and broken, that it’s not their fault
That they’d warned me that some things cannot be held so tightly
Or it’ll crack, then shatter, and what I carried on a pedestal wasn’t so mighty
These words on the book would smear if I weren’t so careful,
But even accidents happen as the days unfold
A drop of a tear, or a thumb print on the side
Showing the history of where and who I was
What I was doing at the time when our family lost our luck
Or luck would be what we’d call it, as we never cracked the eggshells we walked upon
They’d question me at the alter and tell me to confess
As I’d hold the broken thing that I loved too hard to my chest
To my heart, for it’s empty, and maybe I could fill it
But this glass cuts too deep if I were to try to fit it in there
It’s ice in my hands, it’s burning coals in my mind
It’s a feather to the sky; if I’d set it on a scale, it’d weigh almost nothing
But if I were to swim with it, it’d be an anchor
And when the judge asks me what I have broken,
I’d say I broke the unspoken promise and had stepped out of line
I had cracked the shell that was holding together this family of mine
I hadn’t known that the threads would tangle with my limbs,
As it dangled from the sky
So when I stole a part of the night, and a part of the rest
They’d see in my hands
A broken, glass egg that I couldn’t put back together again.
Zywa Sep 10
I wish I could think

about it, because it's on --


my mind all the time.
Novel "Springbonen" ("Jumping beans", 2017, Wanda Bommer), part 3: 'One', page 223

Collection "Known"
I gave myself a title I never earned
and now I write everyday praying it learns to accept me,
I'm no poet
I'm just a man fighting to keep hold of this pen .
Joel K Aug 18
Mannequin-like people
Fake friends—
fake family.

Imitating my friends and families’ actions—
displaying them in a kiosk.

Indestructibility all because of their plastic bodies.
Still, their emotions and thoughts grabbed at whatever they wanted.

Sacrificing so much…
They are unwilling to accept what I have to offer.

Comforting myself in the sheets that they unraveled—

I cannot tell if they take me for granted or whether or not I should leave.

Addicted to you, yet you made the meaning salty.
Excuses — your cliques of words, spewed nothing but gunk.

Yet I respect your figure of speech.
As still as your mannequin-like body.

Can you respect me in the same way?
Not a command but a question.

In the meantime, time will tell.

By the end of the day, you are a part of the residual I left behind — a mannequin.

Fake friends—
Fake family.
I wrote this because of how people behave fake or are just moving on without you.
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