There it was, my opportunity.
My one chance at peace.
I could’ve said goodbye.
I should’ve said goodbye,
burned all the words I wrote you
till even the ashes turned blue
from the sorrow and pain
that poured from my veins,
drowned every memory of you
in the ocean
or with a bottle
whichever came first
to cleanse my minds view.
But every time
I opened my mind
to the possibility
of living in a world without you,
my soul began to tremble and shake
my heart couldn’t help but ache
my senses entered a lull,
and that was just from the potential
of not having you in my life.
Just that simple thought
caused me such strife.
Maybe that thought isn’t so simple,
and like yarn on a spindle,
I’ve been wrapped in your essence
for far too long to conceive of a world without your presence.
It seems that the more I try to forget
the more mesmerized I become
till it’s impossible to be numb
to the warmth of your eyes that mirrors the skies
to the elegance you invoke as though it were a cloak,
there really is no other that carries a candle to your grace
and keeps my heart in an endless chase.
But I’m in need of a reprieve, some sort of break from this game
and yet, I can’t find it in me to leave.
So what am I to do?
Suffer,
attempting to capture a heart
that was always meant to be free?
Or quit,
lose myself in the thoughts of what was,
and what could’ve been?
What do I have left?