By Arcassin Burnham

No time to be as strong minded,
I'm happy to be here to do another session,
Everybody wants to ridicule my life,
Take out the little imperfections I have going,
And completely idolize me as a laughing stalk,
So now I'm the one they walk around and stalk,
Trying to put me down but doing a bad job at it,
Learning to spread my wings and fly out of the cocoon,
I miss her but there's no strings attached,
But might be tied soon,
Running out of time to be young and head in right directions,
Although there's one direction,
Not the band,
You don't even understand me,
Or hear me like broken eardrums,
Beating,
My heart pounds,
Put on extra for a certain situation,
But more like a meeting.

By Arcassin Burnham


texting you at three in the morning when I need you,
Touching you like kissing the rain when I feel you,
you could turn a flower to gold with your finger tips,

Touching you like kissing the rain,
I feel pain,
Just a little in my lower abdomen,
You can not shy away from me,
Or the truth,
Or the lies,
Or the deceit,
When you cry,
One day I'll die,
Knowing you cared for me,
I was here before,
Drying my own eyes,
With a matching suit,
And matches to light my owe fire,
More of a thought than an action,
When the cameras are rolling,
I gave a slight reaction,
Uncontrollable satisfactions,
Violent outbursts to a dark past,
So when you me in the hall you better hal ***,
Been punked out my whole life,
With an unborn kiss from my mothers heart,
Its complete ******* so I don't need to brag,
With the life situations and countless rumors,
I swear to god I need a heart attack,
But enough about me,
How is your mom , i know she talked about me,
Probably saying how well you'd do without me,
I was born to **** up,
Its not a secret anymore......
its an anatomy,

I said I would love you no matter the cost,
And I ******* that up,
Feelings drowning in a dead pool,
Sometimes I need to finish,
But I'm searching for a soulmate not a witness,
I just need some more clarity,
Would just help me out this hole,
No friends were there for me,
Play me like trading cards and leave me out in the cold,
Angry gestures won't get you by,
Wishing and hoping that the silver spoons die,
Die out and then never divide,
Like roaches they scatter around,
But so quick to provide,
You drive in a ******* porche while I take the bus,
Your money , you better hide,
So while I'm going on about that,
I'm reminiscing the good times that I spent with you,
All the nights you probably asleep,
Thinking about me in your dreams,
I'll just be ............

...texting you at three in the morning when I need you,
Touching you like kissing the rain when I feel you,
you could turn a flower to gold with your finger tips.

My therapist made me cry once
He kept prodding "tell me about her, tell me how she died"
A lump formed in my throat
And that night began to play over and over again
"There's not much to tell"
He didn't back down,
he had already burrowed beneath my skin
My tongue felt like a noose:
My words betraying my best friend
I had become so frightened to talk about her
That I began to simplify her into a nothingness
"I don't want to talk about her today"
"It happened so long ago I don't remember much" (Lie)
"What's got you down today, court?" "Nothing."
"It's okay to cry sometimes you know.."
"I don't need to cry. I'm stronger than that"
She became the "nothing" and "I'm fine" to all of the "whats wrong's"
My tongue had formed a noose and somehow slipped around the neck of Erin
She didn't just die that night,
She died inside me too.
I deleted every memory of her, every trace
My mind flooded with thoughts about her,
Until finally the silence was too much for him...
"Keep going Courtney, you're making so much progress"
This time my tongue did not betray her,
It only betrayed me as words slipped out of my mouth
It happened in such an eerie way;
I watched the words slowly roll off my lounge
And just before I could swallow them back down they vanished before me
Warm tears fell onto my denim jeans
As he finished speaking I stood up and reached for the door handle
Finally, it was over.
But just as I slipped out his office he offered me 5 more words,
"This is just the beginning."