All the feelings locked inside
Can't contain them
Someone help
Wait who is there
Everyone's gone away
No one to call on
No help
I've pushed you all away
It's my fault
Life gets ruined due to my stupidity
I wish someone could run to my resue
But who wants to do that
When I always propel everyone away
It's better for them
Sure it makes me toxic
But I can deal with it if it doesn't hurt
If someone gets too close
I hurt them
They become toxic
Just like me
Maybe it's better if you just stay away
Take care of yourself
Hope you live a good life
What? You wanna stay
I guess but it's your funeral
I warned you
Can't say I'll let you in completely
But I'll try not to shove you away
Maybe it'll work out for the best
But I doubt it

I'm nothing but an option to you,
There are a thousand things you would rather do
Then talk to me in several days,
But then again you don't see that do you?

Its clear to see you're drifting away,
Would rather play a computer game
Then even bother to see if we're okay
But then again, you don't really care.

I thought you cared but clearly not.
You say you're sorry but things always stay the same.
I'm not sure what there is left for me to do
Because I'm tired of fighting for you to show me you care.

I pushed you away,
you were supposed to
know why,
you were supposed to
know me.

I pushed you away,
because
i was afraid,
of my feelings

and the fact
that i became
so dependent
on you
for my happiness,
you were responsible
for everything
i felt inside,

that terrified me.

You knew too much,
you knew me too well.

I was afraid
of losing you,
getting hurt.

Guilt consumed me
and i went back

and it was
the best decision
i've ever made,

until...

but now you left.

You're gone,
and i'm hurt
and i don't know how
not to blame myself.