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Jenny Mar 2018
The moment you
arrived and
stayed here
inside my dreams, within
my reach,
along with my old past broken stitch,
I no longer
feel alone, deprived
everything that un- could
be attached.
time became
my greatest enemy that weakens
the wall built by my army.
I found you there.
Far away from me filled of all the thoughts and feelings
that are unclear.
I got back to the time where everything is an un-, can't, dis-, not, and
then won't.
I am lost.
in the moment that
into memories.
Lost from
the track to
my genuine happiness.
Lost of courage to
a step towards
love again.
in pain. Lost
in thoughts. Lost in everything
that I thought
we were.
Lost in everything that you made me feel.
I was here but you escaped to be there and left me lost in the universe filled with hatred and despair.
E Townsend Dec 2015
Reglossing, rewashing, removing, returning,
she kept using the same cloth to wipe up this mess.
All of the same mistakes constantly repeating,
spools of half-hearted "I'm sorry's" unwinding,
foolproof promise to cover for her missed absence.

I persist reloading, rewinding, replaying
watching the film of our lives together, pausing
at moments where temporarily, I confess,
unpredictable happiness ceased repeating.
This trainwreck of a show carries on, blistering
slides that I want to swipe clean, but her name suppress
stained slates developing, deflecting, destroying.

I throw away the footage, romanticizing  
sheer ideas of finally making progress
forgetting her. But relapse results repeating
bad habits. There is not a remedy. I cling
to the seasons of the past, wanting to digress
reminding, rewinding, removing, regretting.
'Til the cloth clears again, chaos keeps repeating.

— The End —