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Bad Jokes Inc Jun 2014
I was packing some snus
when I got up from a snooze
to put a ****
In a boiling vat of hotdog juice.

She was screaming and yelling
as I poured in the salt
and the cops busted my door
as my meal came to a halt.

I said "whats the rush?"
He said "***** hush"
As he sipped very angrily
at his watermelon slush.

I am black
yes very black
so they put me in the back
of their ****** cop van.

I went to jail again
For trying to cook a ****
in a boiling vat of hotdog juice
as I watched espn.

I got out of jail
Cause my drug money was bail
went back home
to see a fresh cooked **** in my garbage pail.

I was so happy
that I took a break to fappy
on my nice leather couch
while my girlfriend was napping.

Today was a good day.
Ice cube agreed.
I smoked all of my ****
and gave into my greed.

***** don't **** my vibe.
Poetry ***** *****.
Bad Jokes Inc Jun 2014
I was walking down the street
Had an urge to *****
Saw a ***** dumpster
this looks nicer than the girl I dumped'r

I unzipped my pants
shat on the plants
got nice and hard
and shot off harder than a pornstar.
(**** THAT DIDN'T RHYME)

I have too much time
because all I do is shoot slime
all over the back
of a president who is black.

I like *****
I bang *****
I make them ***
faster than a game of putt putt.
(****** I CANT ******* RHYME)

All of you poetry snobs
are more stupid than calvin and hobbes
You will never be as successful as
Steve Jobs.

End of story. Because I am about to write another ****** poem.
I hate poetry.
Bad Jokes Inc Jun 2014
Here's a ****** theres a ******,
Everywheres a bigger ******,
****** ****** ****** ****** ****** ****** ******.
don't tase me bro!
This will be famous like Martin Luther Kings *****.
it was the last day of winter
unseasonably warm

I was standing behind an Imam
his arms were raised
hurling prayers for peace
into the face of intransigence

black dressed armored
SWAT teams amassed
swinging readied M16s
vigilantly guarding walls
constricting penned citizens

waiting to place an
American flag
draped coffin
onto the growing pile
of other coffins
covered in the
multicolored flags of
Iraq War belligerents
swelling at the base
of the wrought iron fence
surrounding the White House

I saw a curtain in the
White House part
the window filled
with two tiny faces

I imagined it to be
Sasha and Bo
taking a break from
rambunctious play
to peer out on
a grim assembly

wondering
in confusion
whats going on?
why are these people
placing coffins
in front of our house?

Sasha and Bo
ran upstairs
to the
Oval Office

she burst through
the door

“Daddy people are
piling coffins
in front of our house

Why?”

The President
hugged his daughter
and answered…

“we’re at war
Sasha...

“the Evil Doers
hate us for
who we are...

“they want to
hurt us...

“we must ****
them…

Sasha asked…

“one sign says
our bombs
**** children…

is that true
Daddy?”
Thats a lie
right Daddy?

If you knew
children like
me were being
killed you wouldn't
let that continue…
would you Daddy?”

John Kerry
popped his head
into the office….

“Sasha,
your Daddy
would never
**** children
in service to a lie”

Sasha’s head tilted…
The President flashed a smile…
John Kerry walked away whistling…
giving no notice to the photo of the
Vietnam War Memorial
as he passed

Music Selection:
The Shirelles
Soldier Boy

Oakland
6/11/14
jbm
Morrissey Smith Mar 2014
The earth is slowly dying
To save it we have to try,
We need a solution to
Deal with polution
But it's too big a problem
We sigh,
So if we all join together
Everyone woman,  child and man
Recycle our tins
In green wheelie bins
And we'll save the world
Yes we can.

— The End —