“Depression does not always mean
Beautiful girls shattering at the wrists
 A glorified, heroic battle for your sanity
 or mothers that never got the chance to say good-bye
Sometimes depression means
Not getting out of bed for three days
Because your feet refuse to believe
That they will not shatter upon impact with the floor
Sometimes depression means 
That summoning the willpower 
To go downstairs and do the laundry
 is the most impressive thing you accomplish that week
Sometimes depression means
Lying on the floor staring at the ceiling for hours
Because you cannot convince your body 
That it is capable of movement
Sometimes depression means
 Not being able to write for weeks 
Because the only words you have to offer the world 
Are trapped and drowning and I swear to God I’m trying
Sometimes depression means 
That every single bone in your body aches 
But you have to keep going through the motions
 beacuse  you are not allowed to call in to work depressed
Sometimes depression means
 ingnoring every phone call for an entire month
 because yes, they have the right number
But you’re not the person they’re looking for, not anymore"

I already feel sick, thinking of seeing you,
spending the night with you
and not even being able to really be with you
3 months still to go.
but I really want to go, and I can't let you hold me back
you're always holding me back,
from trusting, from loving from falling
3 months still to go.
what will I feel, what will I say, will I be able to read you
like you've always been able to read me.
I want to touch you, my body craves you
but I know you're not mine for the taking.
3 months still to go
they ask me if I can do this, I smile and say yes
yet I've never been more unsure in my life.
you were my person, you were my happiness
and you left me so empty, how could I ever move on...
3 months still to go...

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try