enlightenment in
perceiving one's existence
comes with suffering
of knowing one's nothingness—
reason to stop existing

as i drink the sadness
of the stars
gulp it down
to the lees
i wonder
what's a greater agony
going to bed with the crushing
burden of your own existence
or
the deafening echo of the universe
saying that you don't matter

" Repulsive human "

I saw my mirrored self
On a forgotten object on the shelf,
My repugnant self.
ugly with a decaying beauty,
An ungrateful being,
who is always and horribly lying,
Nourishing on rotten compliments,
Devouring beastly received sentiments,
Pulling pleasures from holes excreting elements.
With regret,
I fixate
my mirrored self,
On the truth teller object remaining on the shelf.
****** to be earthy,
Condemned to longevity,
I smell the fool odor of my naivety,
My soul's obesity.
They said
"To live is a twist of fate"
But all I see
Through my mirrored self
Is a fate
that is worse than death.

That dark and promising thought,
Kept my eyes open,
And my mind rotten,
All night.
I had dreams and maddening desires that turned against me,
Showed no mercy,
accorded themselves the honor to be my nocturnal unrepentant rivals,
Swore upon their strength to make me dignify my hatred for mortals.
The thoughts challenged gods,
Defeated all my spirit's  guards,
Obliged me to visit psychic wards.
Here I am defeated,
And by some higher power or no power,
Blessed
To still be alive
Somewhere far.
From the distance I can still  see my old foolish and pitiful  self as he walks away :
The happily innocent living that was dramatically convinced, being happy is just one step far.
Stabbed and mutilated
I survived the endless wars,
I now cherish the scars,
That push me to dare going deeper inside,
Of my mutilated soul and misfortunes and the joys that lied.
I was one finger away to Cease to be me,
Probably I haven't yet consumed all my morning's  coffee, to flee and decide of my destiny and join with a touch of prestige the club of men that truly lived and now are free.
They must have instead wept when a man was born,
Not when his flame is extinguished and hereafter they mourn.

There is a bird on my window sill

So indecisive, sitting still

She could have been up on that tree

Instead, she came and talked to me

“Oh pretty girl you know things well

So tell me which one would be swell

To sing for a crowd that isn’t there

Or to die for a crowd that doesn’t care?”

I didn’t know quite what to say

And so the bird, she flew away

What's it worth?

Power and money can't go with you when you get put in the earth

I mean what's it worth?

Leaving a legacy for your pedigree
Who go around porting your livery

What's it worth?

Ain't no free will, you just bound to be
Ain't no one give a ****. Dont bother with secrecy

The ****'s it worth?

Ground em up, pound em up, build em back up

Just so they can go and face the day without having to ******* sack up

What're you worth?

Running around seeking adulation
From gods abombimal creations

What're they worth?

Theyre nothing, and they're nothings everywhere
Without a hair of deceny, ******* plans easy to see

What's it worth, kid?

You need a plot,
One life that's all you got

Smoke a little ***
Pop some little pills

Until you are unable to enjoy the thrills
That's the **** that kills,
What happens when happiness is blasphemous to an Übermensch activist?

What if there is no me left?

Soul stolen slowly by surplus serotonin circling the synaptic cleft

Reflection in the mirror looks like death.

Wait.. it couldn't be clearer

The figure in the mirror is

some sort of fear or hatred that has allowed me to be

complicitely complacement in the fact i'm just
alive adjacent.

I'm living without meaning, I'm latent.

And I don't have the patience to do things of greatness.

Wait, no! **** that. I'm intelligent and I'm gonna do diligent

Belligerence to be the next GW, Johnny Cash or Eric Clapton.

I'm in charge of my life, Nietzsche, call me captain.

And that very next day, all of a sudden, nothing happened