oh, what i would give to sing a duet with you in the fog of the early morning
wrapped up in love and stable in every way
to grow a kiwi tree from the part where our hands can’t intertwine
and chant “forever”
i will hold your hand when death is gripping your ribs and slicing your existence in half
i do miss you so
and your champion complex
oh, what it would mean to me if we could combine our feelings
let’s become a commonality of emotions
draw me in the teal light of your ambitions
i wanna cheer you on in your accomplishments
can you give me your hand
cause if you do then we can swing in the branches of the sycamore and glow like fireflies in the raw moonlight
and sleep soundly in our ataraxia
dazed by the fondness of our evergreen admiration
i still love you and i still think about you
just give me the word
or a call

~

here is a place
my heart comes to mourn;
a place where these thoughts
are seldom my own.
a place frozen in time
your face covers these walls;
a cold lovers waltz
still haunting these halls.
a window through time  
i am left to adore;
here is a place;
i will love you, once more.

~

It has been so long since I last saw you,
Haven't thought about you in a while so I thought I was good
Recently I have been asking myself why I think about you so much-
I think about all our shared memories and how I was touched

I thought I had no problem moving on and forgetting our past;
I did not expect that my lingering feelings for you would last
"Why couldn't I just accept your love and stay?"
I have been asking myself this question every day

I have forgotten your voice, your looks, your smile
My memories of you have been cast away in a messy pile
I miss the way you would understand,
Listen carefully and be there whenever I needed a hand

I miss the way you could read my mind;
Know what to say even when the words were hard to find
I miss the way you could put a smile on my face;
Make the stresses go away and help me forget my mistakes

You'll never read this but I want you to know:
The truth behind my decisions, and that I was loyal
The letters we exchanged were few but meaningful,
They are the only things I can currently cling onto

I hope that you have been doing well, I really do
Staying away from you is probably the best thing I can do for you
I am really sorry for the hurtful, regretful things I have done to you,
Although you say that it's fine, I still feel so guilty for what ensued

Mixed feelings start overwhelming me as I am seeing you soon,
Am I nervous, excited, or over the moon?
I don't know how you feel but I hope to set things right again,
Maybe we can be good friends again if my feelings I can constrain

21/11/2021