"Am I slowly going insane?"
In a witness of own downfall
I obey mere flesh - and am servant
Am failure - single words'
Altitude - ain't enough to describe
For how long - was awaiting for god
Drowning fool - and no shore in the sight
Only fog - waters' cold
"I am jealous for dead"
Free of playing cards lust
A casino where not even once
Was a winner - and all of the bets
Grow on dust -
Up the sleeve hidden tricks -
Just a welcoming gesture -
First game in - lost respect for own self
Second bet - and no will to stand up
Third time opens the purse - go in parts of the soul
Fourth bet - lost
Goes in fifth - humane face piece by piece
Given out for momentary bliss
In a wave of eternal despair

Deep purples and blues
Ligature grooves
Yellows and blacks
The acts of whiplash

They line my back
With that "thwack"
Snap, attack. Sit back
Attach the belts
After they lash...

Deep beneath sheers
Our secrets sear
Sizzling acts
Incriminating collapse

While knees weaken
At lunch, speakin'
Barely a whisper
In memories breathin'
Throat constrictions
Leading to these light lesions
Cold trickles seeping
Beneath the fabric sheeting
My heart beating, my spirit leaving
I'm eating with my friends
But not one of them believe me
When they ask me, why im seemingly
A million miles away, I say "no reason"
But they see it, that I'm speechless
Off with the fairies, freely.
Floating realms, that sweep me
Off my feet, sequestered sins repeatin'

How each murmer escaped lips,
the turn of the flick of your wrist
I'm lost in the THICK of it.

So I excuse my pardon, sit at the park and, grin.
Longing for a memory remedy...
The air heavy, the reverie a burner
Gripped hair, moans, ******
Skin seduced in scorching secrets
Begging your touch to soothe, tease it
Free it, from the torture
Pleasure and pain, icy sorcerer
Witch my mind, till I'm putty
Moldable, obedient, your lil puppy

Then **** me, make love to me
Soothe me, be my drug hit
An addict for the euphoria
The withdrawal, phantasmagoria

Delusional delectable highs
Painful sighs, engulfed eyes
To heaven, hell and paradise
There and back, in one night

Under the watchful sights
Of moonlight, while you prise thighs
Take me to the ethereal side
As my soul leaves my life

Astral travels by your side
To be your pride and joy
Then divide, Conquer, destroy
In your delightful wicked ploy

To make me need another HIT
Savour every command, every inch
you're all through my veins now
Without you, I break down

Invade me, physically, mentally
Emotionally. Empty me of energy
Then moan with me, or own me
While I Invoke your spirit to go deep

Into the darkest recesses of my core
Corrupt me more, take me as yours
I can't focus anymore, only on your claws.
No remorse, no remedy. I'm here
To stay the course
Divorce the logical recourse.
As the Raven swore, a crow cawled
The line and declared Evermore
Chambering on my chastity door
Thats been locked up, waiting for
Someone worthy to absorb
Let's slowly smoke eachothers souls
Through these straws.
As i score my name in.  Adorn
And pour my poetry through your pores

Tonight, I'll be at yours, once more
Your personal *****. Your canvas
Then I'm going to paint you in our elixir
Create brushwork genius in bodies scripture
Signs of signatures. So my essence ever lingers
Like yours burns under your wick-end fingers

The night was dressed to astound.
The moon wore a billowing black gown.
Festooned in silver beads.
To coincide with the glitter of my needs.
You trace, like a whisper, your fingers down my naked spine.
The bind,
for my soul's story.
Trail my moonlit land of flesh with starborn kisses.
Make me a constellation of blisses.
Admist the tugs, twists and swerves of colliding destinies.
Tonight we deviate fate in euphoric glory.
and let the tangle of our lips forever be.

****** was like speeding through a euphoric galaxy.  
Completely unburdened by mundane reality.  
My mind dreams deep, but far from sleep.  
Desire drenched lips bring my naked petals a dew of bliss.  
Abandoning myself to you is a sweet intense insanity.
As you stare at the center of my soul
Devouring my untold.  
In an aching cocoon in the garden of my heart.  
The caterpillar of never, becomes butterflies of the deepest pleasure

Break through my shiny membranes.
Strip my soul raw
and stalk me insane.
Sink into my tissues.
Your lustful caw echoes
deep in my brains coves.
You never left but yet I miss you.
Pleasure finally reigns, the exodus of pain.
Make lace of my violin veins
Inhuman sounds in every primal refrain.
You are ecstasy tainted with hell,
If denied possession of you,
in the sweet shackles of my cells.

My sister is driving miserably
While I’m writing some novel with ghosts
The song playing sickens me biblically
Like the angels with eyes for words
There’s a light from the street eating me
Awkwardly asking for me to be free
‘O sweet, little phantom don’t stop waiting
One day I’m sure to oblivion I’ll flee

My sister them murmurs asking me
The stars from the mirror to see
All I could sight were murderers of dreams
That will never belong
And my heart is the only noise I need
In this hypothetically, torturous day
The stars crown the sky
And music exploits people’s aches with dance
But I’m still writing letters to unknown lovers
Pretending I’m ******* their happiness
While searching the meaning of lust
As they still owe me what’s left from my soul
‘oh how I’d like to kiss you until breath’s presence is gone’
I write while I’m adjusting some tears that will never fall

The ghosts from the novel are inspired by oaths I took
Promising myself to make friends with
Nostalgia and grief
Someday I might publish it
Maybe when I’m already a ghost
Maybe my work will be lost for a while
And the letters will find their suitors without me

But until then I’m a memory
To someone’s yearly alcohol dose

And the song changes suddenly
Reminding me the melody
That nights harmonize
To eros’ arrows
And I’m longing to bleed
So I can feel
What psyche yearned for in life
The most.

Cradle my cerebrum.
Fuse our hemispheres.
Wear the crown of my soul's kingdom.
To create droughts of tears.
Disappear the lonely years.
Your touch is,
necessity of nourishment,
for my groaning hungry skin.
Use the bark of my bones,
to build a castle we may dwell within.
Our souls of destiny entwine and collide.
You crash into my heart with every lunar tide
Unbreakable bliss,
from the prescious pierce of a single kiss.

she disappeared into the shadows of the night,
skimming through the uproarious parties
like stone across the lake
until she sunk into
the gruesome arms
of another man
behind my sleeping back.

and there he was, pounding away
like some big dumb animal
at something I held sacred
as if bonds were meant to be broken
and boundaries were made permeable

and there she was,
taking it,
loving it,
enjoying it,
doing it to spite me
and knowing it would hurt.

and there I was, the last to know
in the dark circles of whispering
secrecy

it’s the all-too-familiar cycle
of passion and appetite;

swallowed by the underbelly of lust and
tormented by the foretaste of my presence

I can’t blame them,
I can’t blame myself,
it’s only nature
taking
its course.

and I can’t say this is written
about anyone specifically,

when it happened

far too many times.