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Ignatius Hosiana Jul 2016
It would be easier when the truth
comes out... instead I wish
the cat had stayed zipped
and suffocating in the bag.
Ignatius Hosiana Jul 2016
Just friends isn't enough
& yet more than that is too much
Ignatius Hosiana Jul 2016
Another's now...
I'm not sure he won't
hurt her... but there's
some relief knowing
I'll never be a reason
for her ache & tears
most especially
when it comes
to her heart.*
it hurts that
she's gone but
there's no sacrifice
without pain... at least
I loved her enough to know
wasn't good enough for her.
My life is hell...she's an Angel.

I can't drag her out of paradise
she can't save me from my flames.
Ignatius Hosiana Jul 2016
One
Thing he knew's when he found
love... he wasn't going to lose it again... for his second would but
be his last... the one who'd give
him a chance would find forever.
He seldom loved, he seldom
trusted but when he did...
it was once and forever...
forever and for always.
When he loved... he
loved obsessively...
He loved like it
was a matter
of life and
death.
Ignatius Hosiana Jul 2016
We
Both need love
Can't we try to find it
in us rather than crying
for those who clearly don't
need us? I mean... is there no
way two people can find the
satisfaction they seek in each
other rather than keep
hurting for the rightful
wrong ones. I'm
willing to try...
Tell me when
you're and
we kick off.
Ignatius Hosiana Jul 2016
When I meet the Sunset, I'll tell her
about how beautiful you pair looked
I'll apologise for all the time your
glowing eyes paled the full moon
I feel remorseful for ignoring the stars
for when we were together I preferred
to watch you from spotless to scars...
They need to come back, the sky
mourns their absence everyday
like I often do because of yours
I'm writing to the blossoms
especially the Roses in the rain,
they must think I hate their scent
yet I love it...I just couldn't smell it
whilst in your warm fragrant arms
even the road is hurt for she thought
all those promises of forever together
were hers, you seldom promised too.
The lawn's never stopped asking for
you...everyone misses, everyone thinks
you should have stayed a little longer
Bed still has your space kept & cold
The isles wonder why you won't walk
their even just one more time...
the curtains no longer glow in gold
even at dawn... everyone's in frown
& fed up of the excuses they're told
I'll have to apologise to my heart
for letting him think it'd found a mate
I'm to blame for trying to predict fate...
I've tried to wait a little longer for you
but it clearly seems you ain't coming
back...We all wish you could return...
Why does desire always have to burn?
I'll write to the ocean and tell her to expect
us no more... that tear was the last of you
the sad gaze you left me wearing was my goodbye
I'll write to the DJ continuum and tell him
I wish he could replay the music of out time together
for though short lived I'd give away this eternity
to relieve that brief moment that beats millenniums...
I'd choose you over life, because you gave me
what years before you couldn't find... peace
I'll never know the serene I found in your embrace
because I'll never give another as much trust
as I gave you... you were an Angel... you were paradise
I'll never forget that day... the tears in your eyes...
I'll never stop writing about us... we were
better than jack and Rose let alone Romeo and Juliet
We were better than the movies because
we were real... I wonder why we had to end
like movies and books... I wonder...**
*Yours truly...
Ignatius Hosiana Jul 2016
I seldom let people in too deep but
I've let you venture deeper than
even those who let people in let
them cross...& now I'm afraid you
might get caught trying to melt the
snow in my soul, attempting to
bring spring and when the ice
walls of my emotion come
crumbling, your heart might
be crushed by the frigid rubble...
I'm afraid you'll get caught in
the crossfire of my intra-conflicts...
I'll be more shattered knowing I
fractured the wings of a beautiful
bird & never forgive myself for it...
So stop digging. You're already
beyond the depth
whence you should
be wallowing. Don't
tackle my darkness,
stay close to the light
where you can locate
your bearing easily
when the monsters rise
and run to safety, where
you can scream to reason
for help when the creepers
of passion locomote for you.
Stop digging, venomous fangs
might crawl out... after all you've
seen all the ambiance there's in
my soul. There's nothing beyond
this point much as you still have
strength of optimism to dig deeper.
Ignatius Hosiana Jul 2016
it's not that she doesn't want to be loved
she so much wants it... She just doesn't
believe anyone can love her the way she craves
not even her own self's succeeded...
she wants the fairy tales, she wants paradise
she wants a lad who can read her eyes
and whose soul is an open book
for all she's encountered are lies

She just wants what she can't get
or thinks she won't...
the ghost few have seen yet all
speak about... she wants true
love, an extinct in her universe
Ignatius Hosiana Jul 2016
I Love you... never say you don't
deserve me...we don't deserve us...
that's why we was given to us to
make us the people we deserve...
I'm willing to listen from today...

I'm not going to try so hard but I'm going to try...
I won't stop being so sad but I'm never going to cry...
I now understand why you're in
my life even better...
I have been looking at it the wrong way...
we probably don't need to find
ourselves to feel complete...
we're two semis of the same circle...
Two faces to the same coin...
I'm not going to try and flip you anymore...
I'll look at me when I need the other face ...
I'll look in the mirror to see you clearer...
I've wanted you to be happy so bad that I've hurt you, us...
I'm not going to do that anymore... let's just be us...
happiness is perfection...perfection is not for people like us...
all we have is this inadequate reality
and all we need is to find satisfaction with each other...
I'm not going to love so hard or so little...
I'm going to love you just the much I can...
your love will fill the cup of this friendship to the brim...
I'm sorry I've been so wrong for so long...
I wanted that cup filled so fast...
I'm sorry...
Ignatius Hosiana Jul 2016
she Often begged me to have
hope and expect
now she often has hope and expects me to beg.
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