Men. Boys. Small obsessions.
I want to be free of them.
Of me?

I get too drunk too quickly. Too excited.
A sloppy kiss in a badly lit kitchen can unlock something deep inside me.

A flicker of waking desire.
Nothing tastes better than a secret.

Nothing better than the soft touch of the lips you are supposed to stay away from.
I trace my fingers over the questions he smeared all over me.

Always cold and restless. How can I stop it?
Do I want it to stop when I’m this young and problematic?
  
Hungry for emotion, I want to get drunk off others' lips.
I want to wander in the drunken haze cloaked in the smoke of gossip.

A word from him. Hell of a digital rollercoaster.

I am easily hooked, always happy to surrender. Does he want me enough to keep me stable for a few weeks?

Do I love him? Do I hate him?
I only need him.

Is this inspiration or pure desperation?
Should I be grateful or furious?
For now, I am both.
  
Is this the burden of inadequacy that comes with being a poet?
Are we the most shallow of all?

What if this tumultuous destruction of my fevered ***** mind proves itself completely pointless?

I am made out of buzzing question marks.
  
My heart is on the verge of exploding.
My stomach is corroded with terror.
I can only handle this much.

I can’t do this anymore.

This is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Why does this torment return once more,
A love unreturned, a wound I bore?
I fall once more into your jade-green eyes,
Twin gleaming worlds where my spirit flies.

They shimmer like dew in the dawn’s embrace,
A haunting glow, a celestial grace.
It pins me down with relentless chain,
A guard let down brings back the pain.

My mind, so swift to weave its snare,
Fills the void with love’s despair.
Caught in a cycle, I cannot depart,
Unrequited, it breaks the heart.

You chase the ghosts of your lover’s touch
In
Every
Body.
A warming distraction for an occupied mind.
A plastic heart with a plastered smile
That won’t reach your eyes.
A loveless limerence;
Longing lies laid bare before your lips.
With sudden haste, the butterflies
Withered and died.
You gnarled my soul, yet it remains mine
While you seek your next corpse
And I revive.

Oh, cut me loose from these chains of love,
My mind is numb and my heart is broken,
To you I am a stranger, to me you are the only love of my life,
The girl of my dream in my dreams,
You have become my daily routine, my dose,
I'll  let my mind be consumed by what it desires the most,
Have I ever crossed your mind?
Oh, cut me loose from these chains of love.