I see you
Skating away
Skirt chaser
Alcohol induced love
Drug hazed fiend
Double shot
No salt
No lime
Straight alcohol to burn away
Your thoughts, condolences, intimidating sneers
Burns away your resolve, yourself

I just consciously hit myself knowing that something scary was coming, I can not say what hurts me the most because, but I try to put myself in my thoughts and race to somewhere when everything got disappointing me. And y'all really think this move is a ******* move, but yeah, it is what it is.
I'm in a variety way do not know this feeling, needed to slow my **** not trying to clear this line.. super geezer tryna be at this time.

I am my //thoughts at 3 am // broken and shattered // within the silence // my mouth is shut // there is nothing to indulge // not even the air particles // It hurts so much // to feel // to sense // to even be human // to be me // actually.

I just want to // go home // but // I don't know // if it even ever // existed // I just want to get away from people // I hate // the temporariness // it 's wrapped around my neck // like a string // more like a rope // for // every tear that falls // from my eyes // my neck // my chest //my heart // my feelings  // burned relentlessly.

I want // to drive // I want // to breathe // I want to go // on a road trip // to the furthest destination // to a beach // with the darkest sky // the lightest shade //  turquoise sea // the brightest stars // to fulfill the night // I want to lay // on the beach // pretend // the sand in my life // didn't bury me // I didn't suffocate // I wanted to lay // there for so long // that I would // forget I exist // similar to // the way // I ignore my feelings // for so long// just so that I forget // how to feel.

Sometimes // I wonder why // wouldn't the stars // just fall in my arms // the future // the unknown //
I'm afraid // of drowning // once those feelings // become // too heavy.

everything is labeled // life is // like a side effect // slowly // killing me// I want to // seize many moments // replay them // I want to forget // and forget // just forget //  I am human // that // I once existed // leave no trace behind // disappear into the atmosphere //

I want // impossibilities // to turn // into realities // those thoughts // the scene of them // it could make // everyone // flee // I love to make them wonder // how long those lived // wandering // in my head // how I became // a prisoner in my own mind  // with my own will // I cant // flee // from the human // I am destined to be // I can // never have enough // wanting so much.

Let me take the blame of not doing what I need to do,
The time that I should have said goodbye but opted not to,
The time that I just counted cars with different hue,
And the time that I didn’t choose who’s better between them and You.

Let me take the blame of being vulnerable.
For letting my feelings be seen by everyone in the hall,
For giving them the glimpse to look at my permanent hole,
And for surrendering for You at the very last goal.

Let me take the blame of all the injustices.
All the tears of families for their lost father’s kisses.
All the wives who grieves for their husband’s wrongful deceases,
And all the dreams we planned that now slowly ceases.

Let me take the blame of being prideful,
Moments that were passed to ask for forgiveness and be mindful,
Moments to set aside self-reservations and be humble,
And moments to let go dreams and believe that Your plan is more beautiful.

Let me take it even for the last time,
Feel the pain that You’ve bare and make it mine.
Because I know that You’ve been there for me till the end of line,
Watching and taking the blame so that I can be fine.