Feet don’t fail me now
She sings and sings and sings
Belting in the backyard
Humid and sweet and exciting
Skyborn burns that fill me with orange and blue
Sun-bleached skin in darkened strings
Of deep and burdening things
Mediating the cracks in the sidewalk
Burying the butterfly i once called “Vernus”
Rays of light and every bit of dust
Eyes wide and the noises loud
Small and running
Heated stoves ring me home
Before dark, i am alone
Me and the world
I feel the possibility in my fingertips
I witness myself again and again
I can feel
I am aware
Of what i am not, of who i will be
Infuriation and envy
I hold everything within and I let it release
Leaping across the streets in wedges
Power seeps into my heels
My beating heart shakes me
Into my bedroom window
Into the moon
Into my backyard
I left it there

late at night
laying on bed
staring the ceiling
as the cigarette's ash falls down
tear rolls down from the eyes
making me fall apart
with the feeling of
homesickness

Often I feel homesick for a place I've never been,
And often I feel the ache of missing a person I have yet to meet,
Perhaps it's feelings that have escaped from an alternate reality,
Or perhaps I am just strange,
And perhaps I will never know which is accurate.

I miss the Norwesters
I miss the heavy rains
I miss hurrying to catch a bus
Completely drenched

Oh Kolkata!
Without you I am
Like a fish out of water

I miss the olden buildings
I miss the bustling streets
I miss riding the tramway
With a song playing on repeat

Oh Kolkata!
Without you I am
But a fish out of water

I miss the winter sunsets
I miss evenings by the lake
I miss Maharaja's kachoris
And jalebis on a steel plate

Oh Kolkata!
Without you I am
Just a fish out of water

I miss the yellow taxis
I miss the hawkers' stalls
I miss the political graffiti
Adorning the walls

Oh Kolkata!
Without you I am
Still a fish out of water

Now I'm so far
But yet so near
My heart can't shelter
These hopes and fears
Rejection, reduction
I feel choked once again
Within your walls of nostalgia
Maybe I'll be safe

Oh Kolkata!
Show me a way
To return to the water

I am sitting in the same bedroom I have had for the past 16 years,
staring at the same ceiling with glow in the dark stars plastered on it,
playing with the same ugly blanket my grandma gave me 7 years ago,
and hearing the same train whistles that used to drive me crazy.
Nothing around me has changed,
and yet I am homesick.
I am homesick not for a place,
but for a person.
I am homesick for the person I used to be,
or maybe for the person I will soon be.

where is your heart
            where is your home
                        where is your love