Back and forth,
What am I worth,
My brain tells me not much,
Maybe you can cure it with a touch,

If they want you, you'll feel better,
Just let them take off your sweater,
Let them rip away your skin and flesh,
Until your damaged soul is all that's left,

Kiss me harder, make me feel something, anything at all,
This numbness is written all over me like graffiti on a wall,
I will give myself up, my body,
Isn't that what you want,
And then you'll walk all over me and away from me,
All nonchalant,

The highs don't help me outrun the lows,
Impulsive decisions are always in tow,
Who am I,
The party girl or the sad one,
Maybe both,
I feel everything and then I feel numb,

Please doctor tell me what to do,
Because I don't know what is true,
I'm in a constant tug of war,
I want to feel less yet I long to feel more,
How do I stop these wolves inside,
Because I'm tired of fighting for my life.

How can I kiss you when it's her lips that I fantasize about?
How can I know you when, with her soul, mine is intertwined?
How can I let you hold me when I wish I was in her arms?
How can I love you when I can't get her off my mind?

I want to be looked at by you the way people look at eachother in the movies,
With that longing, that "I never want to look at anyone else" kind of gaze,
I want you to kiss me and get the same butterflies that people read about,
I want the peaceful mornings waking up in your arms,
I want the late nights whispering things that no one else will hear,
I want the simple, passionate, complete love that you find in fictional worlds

You have always been my greatest 'what if',
What if our timing was better,
What if you loved me more,
What if you decided I was worth it,
What if you didn't have an internal war,

If you want to know what I think,
I think that you're scared,
Of letting someone in,
Of someone looking at you and really seeing you, and not being visually impaired,

I wish we could capture the little moments,
Where its only you and me,
But I'm afraid maybe you're not fully in it,
I thought it was love but maybe you don't agree,

I'll always put your happiness before my own,
And if you want me to go, I shall,
And no matter how much it pains me,
I'll let you go and I'll drift away along the canal

Isn't it strange,
How one moment you feel like you finally are okay only to have it ripped away from you,

And you feel so naive for even thinking for a second that something could go so well,

And moments later you are stuck laying on the cold ground not knowing what to do,

And you feel so alone and helpless like you are in your own personal hell,

And you're so **** angry,

For letting yourself believe,

For thinking someone could love you,

But everyone eventually leaves,

And you're so **** numb,

You've forced yourself to be,

And you feel so dumb,

And you think who's to blame?

Me.

Darling do you have any idea what you've done?
It's a dangerous thing, flying this close to the sun,
You are being selfish, ruthless,
Yet you continue to fly on,

But what will happen when your wings melt away?
What will happen when you take too much and end up with nothing that will stay?

Icarus, my beautiful fool, if you fall from such a height, I may not be able to catch you,
Not without destroying myself too,

So my angel, you must decide,
Fall or stay by my side,

For the glory of the sky lasts but a minute,
But the unselfishness of love lasts a lifetime,

The tide comes in and I walk out,
Out to sea,

I hear the melancholy moan of the breeze,
and feel the waves wash over me,

My brain tells me to go back,
My heart tells me to go on,
To keep treading,
Keep treading along,

Let the salty air out of my lungs,
And the water fill them up,

At first I'm coughing,
Gasping for air,
But after a while,
Calmness is all that is there,

My body is limp,
And my lips are blue,
But my heart is full,
And all that's left to do,

Is drift further out,
'Neath the blue ocean waves,
And there I will be,
Always to stay,