I had fallen down hard this time,
Found myself at the bottom of it all,
When somewhere past the void,
I heard my own future call.

It struck a chord in me,
Unexpected but I could feel,
My hidden heart made of flint,
Fate struck like it's ever present steel.

Again, again, again, and again,
Round, and round, and round,
How much I tried to lock myself up,
Life refused to let me be bound.

Wrapped up in my past,
I did my best to hide,
I was never going to be enough,
Trying to escape in the shadow of pride.

I was buried in the frozen earth,
Knowing some day Spring would come,
So I clung to my old shell,
When I felt the world start to hum.

Begin, Begin, Begin and again,
The sacred circle was never broken,
Fleeting dreams tumble away,
As the sacred words are spoken.

Though scars will be left behind,
My feet still find their place,
My tired heart beats again,
My Will returns to it's relentless pace.

My goal was finally achieved,
and my atonement was past,
The Day is finally beginning to dawn,
The empty night was not meant to last.

I left, and nothing was the same;
I came back, and everything was the same.

I've changed, but you haven't;
this thing between us hasn't changed,
or has it?

You remain transfixed on the games,
and even after months of silence,
you expect me to play;
and I get a thrill off of saying no,
which admittedly is my own way of playing back.

I don't know whether I love you or hate you more,
but homecoming also means coming home to that dichotomy,
to resisting urges and old patterns,
to hoping you've finally figured out where I'm at,
that your path has met mine,
that you've changed with time.

These roads feel the same but also
like they belong to a life I no longer know;
new tracks on new albums make the soundtrack for the drive,
and you attempt to wedge yourself amongst lyrics of redemption
and desire.

I need you to let me go
but want you to come with me;
I need to live the new life I've built
but am haunted by past fantasies;

when I come home,
it can't be to you,
and when I leave,
I'm leaving you too.

She was my homecoming queen
She was the period to the end of my dreams
We conversed on the golf course that night
Her blouse unbuttoned
Her breast bare
Shadows danced across her chest
as the wind predicted rain
How I wished I remembered
what we said
But all I do . . . are spider bite kisses

How the years decay
Lucky in love
Lucky on death
Teeth that once were sharp
have been ground down
Homecoming Queen
My Homecoming Queen