I cradle your worries,
your burdens I share,  
yet I carry my own,
a weight hard to bear.
Each word that I offer,
a balm for your pain,  
while I swallow my tears
like a soft summer rain.

With every embrace,
I hide what I feel,  
for the hardest of battles
I fight to conceal.
So if you could see me,
just for a while,  
you’d find in my sorrow
the strength in my smile.

©️Lizzie Bevis

Those words were painful to hear when you told it
I don't know if you know it
Because I certainly don't show it
And won't bring it up in conversation
Only via written representation
Can I say it without hesitation
So here goes it...

You know you lied...
(To yourself mainly)
A total fabrication
One that destroyed my vision of someone sacred
Altered love to blind hatred without persuasion
From which I'm now trying to retrain
Because I've missed out on important days
That should've been filled with celebration

Why not just give me an honest and open statement?
Like what you asked of me from an early age...
Was it to minimise the ache?
To save face from something failed?
To create distance from the ways in which you assumed everyone would frame it?

Anyway
That's me saying it as plainly as I can say it
About the way that you behaved then
And maybe
Just maybe
What I've said here
Will aid you in
Bringing closure to anything remaining
So that each and every day
You can pave more of your way
In coming to terms with all the hating
That you seem to linger in after waking

“wordlessly watching, heartlessly helping “

an early morning insertion,
says writes a love poem of
necessity, no formal request,
but as I am quiet bound to
her chest rhyming rising, falling,
she, caught between eyes closed,
but ears open, in pretense of deep
sleeping,
leaves me treading words,
“wordlessly watching, heartlessly helping “
borrowed for reuse, as waves
that have been here moments ago,
but only now just splashing me
to a place of inspiration, I look
up at the jambalaya of verses,
and declare myself satisfied,
both in love and wish this:

a completed poem that satisfies a
noisy urging~surging to tell her I
love her without disturbing her
peaceful state of drowsy and
permitting me too
(thinking pause)
to
taste a piece
of peace, so
well completed

War
How it rattles
You always ask

Monsters behind lines
Everybody is a casualty
Nobody is the same

Fighting over what’s wrong
In the most of the battle
Guns roaring
Helicopters patrolling
Tomorrow’s children shipped over still

Everybody knows
All the ways
Children play war
How fun it is

Only veterans know
The real struggle
Hiding in the bushes
Entire platoons down
Running in the jungle

how do you get up to nogood
how do you get down to allpain
how do we get over to healing
how do we get over the feeling

you gotta hit rock bottom
boy. you gotta hit rock bottom
they know. and can show the way

it must be pure heaven, this rock bottom
you gotta go through every turn they took
can they really read into your future?
you can read them like a book

crossing all of their burned bridges
and "biden can kiss my ***"
when we get to the station
don't forget to get the gas

are we in toughlove?
god i can't get enough love!
i just can't get enough of
the local dialect in toughlove

I wonder if you're cold.
You're beautiful.
I bet you're beautiful in the spring.
And even prettier in the summer.
In the winter your cold.
And now, you're beautiful.
I wonder if anything is crawling on you.
If you're taking a breath in or out right this moment.
I wonder if the sun makes you smile.
If the cold kills you-
I hope you're not dead.
Because you're so beautiful.
Sitting from so far away.
I see you.
You curve oddly.
The clouds were just swept for you.
Are you waving at me?
I saw something.
Are you thirsty?
Is it too cold for you?
I'm sorry, i didn't bring anything.
I'm sorry…
“I'm sorry.”
“But it was all me, don't be sorry”...
-

“It's okay now.”
“It's never okay.”
“To me, it's okay now.”
“It's not okay…”
“It is to me.”
-
What would it do in this situation?
What temperature would it feel?
The Summer?
The Winter?
The Spring?
The Fall?
-

(“The Fall.”)
-

I can't warm up to him.
But I'm going to, I'm going to fail.
I'm going to “Fall”.
-

What would you do?
Sway?
What would you grab onto.
The dirt?
-

If you fell right now i wouldn't hear you.
Couldn't.
I can’t.
She's in the way.
This window is in the way.
The air.
The fence.
-

I can’t-
-help it.
-

I'm going to hug you.
Be there.
I'm going to hug you.
You're stuck in the ground.
-

You're beautiful.

-

You're going to make me die.
That was a mistake.
Written in pen.
You're going to make me cry.
I'm ready for it.
I'm waiting for it.
I'm waiting for you to feel like it's right.
Not set in stone.
I'm letting you make the decision.
The first move.
Because I made the first move last time.
Not this time.
Not again.
Not ever.
Be ready.
Please be ready.
For yourself.
For me.
The one outside.
The one in the car.
-

“Negative Attention.”
-


She’s a horrible woman.
She's beautiful.
Not like the other tho.
She is wrong.
One of God brought by Satin.
-

I'm sorry ***.
Show me you're ready.
I love you.
-

You're beautiful.