An angry heart,
A damaged soul,
Possessed by,
A grumpy troll.

A lacking luster,
A friendly foe,
I aim to learn,
What I should muster.

A canny face,
A polished mind,
A fruitful spirit,
A happy place.

Trying to navigate these bumpy waves,
While maintaining my gaze with my goals.
It's more difficult than the past me could've ever known.

There's a long dotted line that swerves along my map.
I've marked each stop for when I'll take naps,
but I'm still struggling with unexpected crashes.

A wave flips my boat and and it feels like a million minutes go by
Before I patch things up and things feel okay inside.

It feels like a tear in my map,
the map that lines my heart.
How do you recover when someone from your crew falls overboard?

What if something embarrassing happens during my journey and I can't press restart?
These are the kinds of questions I stay up all night asking the stars.

perhaps the moth
simply doesn't know
the strength of
its own wings
but the way it flutters
seemingly erratic
        in its choices
never straight forward
        in its direction
can be infuriating at times
as those silken sails
appear to force it
where none expect it to be
in disjointed circles
often far off course
only occasionally
will it find itself
exactly where it should be
whether accidentally
         or by design
its every path is filled
with calculated corrections
revisions and redress
in order to reach
its intended
that source of light
one way or another

She let her
dreams grow
wings

we all
have goals
that live
undiscovered

Magical ain't it
I'm running with a crown
Wasn't born into it this way
Nope, didn't steal it
But I ain't no Saint either
Just worked it up from the bottom
Looking up to a ceiling
Then putting my head down, I told y'all
I told y'all I wasn't gonna be the same
No not after all that I've been through
Not after I dropped all the pride for y'all
Not after I walked off with my head up strong
Oops now I am seeing a flock
Throwing bread crubs look at em follow
Yah I'm a beast with it
Guess growing up wasn't so easy
Maybe that's the story you can't hear it
Many dark moments have me remenising
Painkillers just isn't cutting it now is it
Had to break off this vision
Had to look beyond anything I could invision
Nothing new dark roads will tell you
This one has some light
Must be the flashlight I'm holding

Magical ain't it
I'm running with a crown
Wasn't born into it this way
Nope, didn't steal it
But I ain't no Saint either
Just worked it up from the bottom
Looking up to a ceiling
Even when they left me
Even when they doubt me
Even when they smiled at me
It didn't mean anything
Saw it for what it was to me
Headed up a mountain no strings
Never looked down I forgot it
Quiet up here ain't it
Hearing echoes all around me
Maybe all those heavy feelings
Finally lifted me

Magical ain't it
I'm running with a crown
Wasn't born into it this way
Nope, didn't steal it
But I ain't no Saint either
Just worked it up from the bottom
Looking up to a ceiling
Skies in reach clouds are now beside me
Every lasting freedom that I seeked
Sweated off calories for years
Didn't even notice it was for me
Go and buy it I don't need to see
Like it, I take it now it's free
Everything in my hands or just in reach
Chose to walk away you see
Lost it all for me
What's the point with no depth
Felt like I was reaching blindly
Creative soul burning deep with hopes
Uneducated goals reached them all
Presidented stance welcoming everyone
Come in come in with a soft tone

Magical ain't it
I'm running with a crown
Wasn't born into it this way
Nope didn't steal it
But I ain't no Saint either
Just worked it up from the bottom
Looking up to a ceiling

i don’t want life to be easy,
but i wish it were simple
i don’t want to pick flowers
to die in a vase on the table

it’s too late to retreat
it’s too late to begin
it’s too late to start over
i’m too broke to give in

i want it all or none
spend my days in a class or the sun
either a mansion or shack on a hill
if i could put in the effort, complete overkill

but they don’t want me to belong to the land
(only if i put a dollar in their hand)
so i am a little bit lost
a little bit lazy at a pretty large cost
and i want to know things but not out of need
fulfill my own longing, a curious greed

it’s too late to go back
it’s too early to die
it’s too late to start over
it’s no use asking why
can i only have just one?
rich exhaustion or penniless fun
i’m sure that some can,
but that someone’s not me
unless there’s something that no one can see

i’m digging for treasure
i’m not sure is there
maybe i’ll find it…
if i just change my hair