Fingered old notes, they're tossed to the ground.
You acted living, but where mortals are bound,
little hole in the sky, the shining sun
I put down my rag, my work here is done.

Letting go of a round shouldered man who wanted to change my signature means touching the slimy parts of my bloodstream ink jar heart.

It means peeling back the window shade to smash the glass pane eyeteeth of my youth.

And remembering the key to unhinge my jaw tension voice sans stones and lacking sweetness.

It means saying goodbye today and releasing my ribcage parakeet hands to catch my own thoughts.

I am through with placeholding promises and biting through backwoods in order to forget the pieces of strength that I love so much.

Another day, another act of chaos

I see it arise quite often now, a school shooting, a death in the family

I've learned not to be surprised by it

I see the reactions in the faces of loved ones; looks of confusion, of fear, mouthing "how could this happen, why?"

How are you surprised anymore?

I think of where they must be internally, grappling but submitting to a God who must think them servile, at least how they have crafted Him

Content in the answer "God works in mysterious ways"

It's easy to be mysterious when you're not even there

Like my biblical namesake, I have grappled with God internally, wrestled him to a standstill, and I cannot allow Him to supplant me

I know there is no great lesson to be learned from this, and maybe that's lesson enough for today class

If I claim to be an instructor, a teacher, a guiding light to those walking along a murky and narrow corridor

I must hold open a path toward light, and point out the missteps that must be taken to get through the threshold

I am not surprised by killings, by death, I have met him, and he has saved a seat for me, I have it ready in my hometown six feet underground

I meet up with him from time to time, he instills his presence by proving to me he has met with my loved ones, my associates, and shows to me

"I will have you soon enough"

Fortunately I procrastinate when it counts, and hustle where it doesn't.

To everyone who has met him, or has seen his works in the current chaos

I send love.