i have never tried drugs, some pills that could make me intoxicated as i was already high on happiness. but then i realized, self love which was the spark behind my positivity is vanishing. i was horrified. it has become a drug to myself that i couldn't imagine my soul working without it. my passion needed more doses of self love, and i couldn't make it anymore. at that time, i wished— if self love can be found in forms of pills and drugs, then i already would have been intoxicating. but i never got it. i thank myself at that time for stoping myself as sometimes self love isn't important as long as you are breathing. other than your blood, flesh and bones anything can make you go insane. so it's better to stay on earth and stop doing our drugs of different obsessions.