How
Can
  I
   Have
    So
     Much
      Hatred
       For
        Someone
         That
          I
           Wish
            They
             Never
              Existed?

Symphony No. 2
in D major 4th Movement
this is my stomach

They said it was an accident
That you had just slipped of the balcony
That you were just peering over the guardrail too far
Then you just slipped
But I knew what happened
I knew what happened the moment I saw you
Your little broken body slid out of the cold locker
Your nose crooked and your eyes puffy
Those once bright sapphire eyes stifly closed
I didn’t cry; I just stood there staring
“That’s her” I had croaked out
Then I walked away
You said you wouldn’t
I told you what would happen
Breathing in cold air I glanced quickly at the traffic below
“See you later alligator”
In a while crocodile

All I want is a rewind to those times
When we talked for a long while
Seated under street lights
We were always together at nights

Staring at the moonlight
Our minds were filled with doubts
About what our future seems like

Then it went viral
That we were together
You asked how

I still don't know why

And it all sums up to now
Thinking of how we drifted apart
It was just too fast

But that was all in the past
All I wish for now is a rewind
So I can win back your heart

I really need a rewind ......

You have a Pure Heart
But sorry it's hard for me to keep it

You are Innocent
But sorry I still can't see it

You are Lovely
But sorry I can't feel it

I tried...
And I am still...

The Chances I gave, It was forced
'Cause I felt pity on you
though it's not your Worth...

But I tried...
And it pained me...

To see you Loving me...

I know your Intentions
I know I'm secure

I can see you're Real
I can sense how you Feel

I am pleased with your Honesty
I am Loved by your Heart

But sorry I tried...
And It pained me...
To Love somebody

And It pained me...
That I owned it,
That he didn't know it...

That he will never know it.

And still it pained me...
That I can't Love you Back

Like how He can't Love me Back

And it pained me...

where do we go when we fall asleep
towards spaces that put the mind at ease
we shape-shift quicker than we think or speak
and breathe in new qualities of being
the space of medicine drifts between
our fragmented thoughts and broken dreams
i see colors and sounds turning into mandalas
appearing before the mounds of your eyes
round as the sky and concave like the ocean
a singular appearance as vast and wide as devotion
strategies fail me and similes too
now all i have left is the memory of you
swimming in quantum entanglement
my fingers got stuck in your hair
i never bothered worshiping
anything quite as fair as you
faster than an avalanche and bolder than a kite
i was just starting to get over you
the moment that you took another bite
i walked the stairs to your bedroom
and laid myself at your feet
in boots you were standing over me
and in that moment you decided
it was my heart that you might keep