woke up  
on tuesday morning,  

one foot  
in front of the other.  

no rush,  
no hurry—  

just me,  
blue and under  
the weather.  

i used to find  
sunshine  
in so many places,  

but i lost  
the best  
i’ve ever had—  

and now,  
the sun feels  
a little colder
now.

i wonder  
whether  
it gets better.  

i used to be  
a goal-getter.  
now i’m in overdrive,  

short-term PTSD—  
nerves wrecked,  
spirit stretched.  

so many days  
crying,  
wondering if  
this ever ends—  

’cause i’m tired  
of living  
a bittersweet story,  

and tired  
of being  
down bad.  

you were  
the best—  

the best  
i’ve ever had.

all the small things
add up to big things
i cant take this anymore
blow my brains right out the door
say it aint so
please don't let me go
dont wanna know
all time low
just wanna go
dont wanna show
feeling so low
cant let this go

I used to be Bruno Mars, you can COUNT ON ME
I used to be Ed Sheeran who'll be there 'til we're 70
I was Avril Lavigne who said I LOVE YOU
But not All Time Low, I ain't MISSING YOU

I'm Against the Current, burning a little BRIGHTER
Like Bleachers, I WANNA GET BETTER
Like Big Time Rush, I'm HALFWAY THERE
Like Taylor Swift, WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER

if my eyes could speak
they would tell you how many
battles i've lost.
there's scars lining my thighs
and wrists to prove it.
they would tell you about my favorite
books, how i feel about
all time low, lillies, and you.
if my eyes could speak,
one look would say everything.
about how my ghost is surrounding
him in the distance,
watching his every move, and how
i feel some sort of rush
when i cut myself shaving.
if my eyes could speak,
my mouth would have nothing
to say.