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Ink
Some time since ink bled
On these lazy fingertips, poet
Clean hands; a disgrace!
Where am I?

Where do you think you are?

I don’t know, that is why I am asking you.

You are where you wanted to be.

But what does that mean?

Oh I think you understand.

Is this an NDE – a Near Death experience?

There is no such thing, you are either here or you are alive.
There is no in between. There is no such thing as - Near Death.


OK, is this an after life experience?

What would you have it to be?

Am I dead?

Do you feel dead?

No, I feel very much alive.
Again I ask you, where am I?

You are where you wanted to be.
You are in the now, the one you created.


What does that mean?

You are here in the everything.
You have become the everything.
There is no longer anything that you are not
And in this new experience, this ALE – as you choose to call it –
You are experiencing the grandeur of yourself.


But I am not anything grand.

Oh yes you are for the almighty has been and is now experiencing
Himself/Herself – through you.
In my purest form – I am the absolute.
And in that, you too are a part of that absolution.
I am absolutely everything.


Are you God?

From this absolute purest form, I am whatever you make of me.

What do you want?

I don’t want anything of you.
I simply want what you want.


I want peace.

To find peace you have to also be everything.

I can’t be everything.

But you already are.
If you are not everything, then there is something to need,
Something to want, something to demand.
And from there – you cannot have peace.
For without everything one can only create chaos.
And I am everything that I am and that includes you for
To be every thing one must also be any thing.


If I am this every thing – am I not as you made me?

What do you make of yourself?

Somehow I remember you made of me.
I see myself now in purest form – the one I cannot forget.
The one I am now returned to.
Anything else of me must be fiction.
Something I made up.

Is the one you made up a jealous person?

Sometimes.

Are you jealous now?

Who could be jealous when one has and is everything?

Is the one you made up in life an angry – wrathful person?

Sometimes.

Are you angry now?

What would cause me to be angry when I no longer can be hurt
Or damaged in any way?

Is the one you made up in life a vengeful person?

Sometimes, I guess.

Are you vengeful now?

Who would I take out my vengeance on?
Am I not a part of the everything?
Do we wish to punish me for what I was?

Why would I want punish you – a part of me
That I have created?
And even if you considered yourself apart from me,
Why would I create you and then give you the freedom
Of choice to create whatever you wish to experience,
Then punish you forever for making the wrong choice?


That’s what I’ve been taught.

I tell you this, I would not do such a thing.
And in that truth let it free your heart from
The fear and tyranny of a jealous, vengeful and angry God.
For in your purest form, those are not your attributes either.
So what you’ve been taught is all wrong.


Then why am I here?

You can come here anytime that you wish.

That’s right, I did choose to be here didn’t I?

Yes, you did.
We can be together whenever you want.
The ecstasy of your union with me is yours anytime you want me.
Not just here but at the drop of a hat or the feel of the wind
On your face, or the sound of a cricket under a silvery moon.
And especially in a new born babies breath.


I felt you in my last breath.

Yes, I am always there.
I’m there in your first living thought as with your last.
I am here with you now, even until the end of time.
Your union with me is always complete.
It simply always was, always is and always will be.
For you and I are one – both now and forever more.


I didn’t do right by the gift of life that you gave me, did I?

But you are here with me now, is that not what you wanted?

But if I hurt myself, I must have hurt you.

You created your own reality, that is the gift that I gave you.

And I abused the gift, did I not?

I will not judge you for what you chose to create.

I’ve never felt so much love.

It’s because you’ve never chosen to know of it.

Is it possible for me to make another choice?

Always and forever – anytime you do not like what you have
Created you can think again and create a different reality.


I think I want to do that.

There you go, just put that word “I” in front of what you
Want to create and know yourself in that reality.
Go now and re-make your life as a statement of our truth.
Cause your days and nights to be filled with your reflections
On the highest ideas within you – the ones you now know.
Do it through the expression of our love,
Eternal and unconditional for all those lives you might touch.
Be a light unto the darkness and curse not the light.
Be a bringer of light.
You are that, my son.
So be it.*


*“We’ve got a pulse.”
“Give him some oxygen.”
I heard those words and shortly thereafter
“Welcome Back” as I opened my eyes.

The voice was a feminine voice and she was holding my hand.
So I’m here again, now.
So when you read what I write,
Read it with this in mind.
I am no longer a jealous, vengeful nor angry being.
It’s still me but I’m not the same.
I was dead before I died.
And now I live life in the hereafter - the one after I arrived.
~


so obvious the mistake
the ordered disorganization

the summation of a man's life
in an ampersand -
a logogram connection
tween two words,  
finally, properly sequenced

error then trial, then error then trial

perception - my life is an endless trial
punctuated and worsened,
periodically pierced
by errors
made of your own free (not really) choosing

"whenever confronted by a fork in my road,
I always chose wrongly"


and aye, here's the rub
the same mistake made repeatedly

example prime:
falling in love is just another way of saying
gonna end badly

and you constant cravenly confess
to yourself the ending unbecoming cause
you can read the handwriting on the wall
for your specialty is


*only love poetry for dummies
Running ,she whizzes past a gentleman fellow
His nature confuffled, a feather in his hat, yellow.
I glance once more seeking a quiet spot to mellow
Catch my breath , before i bellow
A crane grazes the ground beneath me , to which i look up hearing his "hello"
A street musician strums sad tunes on his chelo
May 17 2017
Twiddle dee doo
A watch from afar
Tweedle dee dah
I gaze upon my star
Clear skies to my delight
Nesting alone - peace, quiet
Best* night by far
A lost lightning bolt zaps*
A thrill through my spine
My mouth agape
My calm night has ended its time.
The lightning bolt nailed its target
A fresh, green lime
2 feet from where I was rooted.

Fri, may 19, 2017 3:09pm
It happens. It's a good thing.
His passion is-
as deep as my love for him.
His mind magnificent!
-my mind unknown.
His patience as of a lamb's,
-my playfulness mistaken.


6:26pm/ 6:31 thursday, may 25th.

Games :p just for fun.

I tease you Tahi, I tease you.
#silly
Do you hear the music?
Does it give you ease?
Hold my hands and lean far back
Look up into the trees.
The answers there
That no one sees,
Imaginings to anyone who believes.
That magic
Can’t be deceived,
Open arms to be relieved.
Move with me
And be believed,
Cherished, loved
And well received.
Just dancing with the trees.

Sunlight flickering through a canopy of incandescent leaves
A gentle cool wind blowing to a background of confident blue.
All around me are the dancing trees.
Rejoicing it seems in their bright prancing hues.
Oak, hemlock, cottonwood, spruce and pine
All swaying together in perfect time.
I walk the path in awe of it all
Listening to the spreading news.
The earth it seems
Has reached the dawning of a new day
Reproducing itself along the way.
I wonder if that’s really true
A year – can it be just a day?
If it is then I’m a part and so are you.
As we pass through this earthly delight
Another day of romance is on the way.
All the trees are out dancing tonight
Having put on their Sunday best.
Tonight they too can find this life's zest.

(Now move your body with the rhythm of the wind blown trees)

Let’s dance with them just for a little while.
Listen to the music of the air.
You move right – I’ll follow with a smile.
Then move left – the movement in your hair.
Living life with but one care
Taking this time to be aware.
Open your heart – no fear to share
Should or shouldn’t we dare?
This wonderful evening we are there.
Move again, I’ll take your hand
To and fro we say – isn’t it grand?
Waltzing – can you feel the breeze
In with a troop of trees?
I bow straight to my knees,
You follow and begin to see
Life and love and harmony
Peace of mind be seized.
Now holding on tight – still on your knees
Still moving to and fro I ask you please
Do you hear the music – does it give you ease?
Hold my hands and lean far back
And look up into the trees.
The answers there that no one sees
Imaginings to anyone who believes
That magic can’t be deceived
Open arms to be relieved
Move with me and be believed,
Cherished, loved and well received

Just dancing with the trees.
If you can grasp the feelings expressed in this piece then you are destined to live a full and happy existence.
Death has no prejudices. No favorites.
It doesn’t care if you’re young or old, rich or poor.
Death is inevitable, whether or not you’re ready for it.

But once you're dead, what's it like?

It’s like you’re never really in one place, rather everywhere all at once. Like your conscience has been sprinkled throughout the world like grains of sand and your breath is part of the wind.
Your voice is now the rustling of the trees and your blood is rushing water in the rivers. You’re no longer confined to a vessel and you feel like you’ve never actually felt completely free until now.
Your energy that was manifested in your body is now recycled back into Earth. There’s an immense sense of belonging and contentment, like you’re comfortably numb.

There is no sense of time.
The years, days, hours, minutes, seconds; mean nothing.

When you’re young, you feel indestructible. You feel immortal.
There’s always a tomorrow because the sun is promised to rise the next day. It’s hard to imagine a day that you won’t exist anymore.
It’s easy to take things for granted. Sometimes it’s hard for people to realize how fragile human beings really are.
It doesn’t take much for our soul to be ripped from our bodies.
Not much at all.
These are some excerpts from a paper that I had to write for my Death&Dying; college course this semester. We had to write about how our own death. After reading my paper, my professor wrote something very special to me on the last page. She told me that it was the best paper she had read and she absolutely hoped that I was pursuing a career in writing. As an aspiring writer, this meant SO much to me.
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