I find my dreams
      are slipping away
            from their usual crazy trance
                    

now my dreams are bittersweet
         echoing a wish so secret -
                  I dream for you, not me.

Im waiting
Every hour
Minute
Second
That you will show up
That you will erase all of my sadness
Like you always do

Tick tock
The clock is ticking
My tears falling
My heart hurting
My bones aching
And you
Youre not showing

After all the effort I kept
I tried so hard to let her know,
let her understand how I feel
And she was kind, yet showing interest
She made me fall deep, deeper, deep, deeper

When all she really wanted is friendship
Yet she kept it a secret
I'm sure she was unaware this could hurt me in future
Not until when I left her with no choice but to utter something

If I knew I wouldn't have pushed,  
but I was convinced we are walking the very same paths
Surely her answer caused me nothing but trauma

And I realised she can't even consider my feelings
How can I stand beside her?
Will I ever hug friendly greetings?
will I ever shake hands without intending to kiss goodbye?
This gonna be hard to just ignore and adapt to friendship

How can I be friends with a girl I bearly love?
Love sometimes is so stupid and selfish
How can it be such a lier?
Sometimes I wish love can just be saying I love you,  
but it is more than that.

The moment I set my eyes on her and she stare back
The first time we conversed
I was so convinced she's in love too
I was convinced the only thing left is nothing but consensus

But then it turned out with disapointment
"I'm not ready for love friendship of course is great to meditate" (she said)
Just for console, when I realise I'm stuck in these feelings
I pitched, you can take all the time you need to be true with yourself,
simply like I'm fine by it when I really am touched.

Went to Jim's old hangout
Last night
Then
Had trouble
Sleeping
You know
When you see
Something
And
It is out of touch
But
So real
That you can
Reach out
And
You feel it
Yes
You feel it
Because
It touches you
And you feel it
And
You like the way it touches you
Yes
And you like the way it feels

With my frail fingers entwined,
just- ever, so tight- so firmly,
upon this beloved bottle of wine,
I find the time to rhythmically rhyme
the things- thoughts- upon my mind.

The southern Sun has departed,
duely, beyond the heavens- horizon.
Though, I, merely, must know
that it will soon return.
I shan't remain this way eternally.
I do not feel- do not think- the gods 
wish to slay me down- ****** me.

"This world, surely, 
 has more is store, Crowley-
 for you- (You) have been through
a vast amount of distance 
& witnessed a grand number 
of events."