used and abused
manipulated and bruised
into waiting for you,

testing me to see,
if i wouldn’t break free

brainwashed into loving you,
trusting no one but you

then
you shattered me
into nothing
but dust

whispering to nobody
I say my last goodbye
will somebody
notice the pain
that rained
down on my soul?
it stole
the hope
and I left a note
I wrote
for anyone who cared
or dared
to read my last words
and I hope they hurt like swords
because everyone's words
hurt me like swords
and left an eternal wound
but soon
you will all try
but I will no longer cry
and maybe
happiness will come



—j.m.

it's not fair
that my brown eyed boy
is being treated like a toy
he's barely begun
and the sun
won't rise
if he doesn't shine
although he'll never
be mine
I wish he'd never lose
hope
I'll mope until
he smiles once more
and I'll never shut the door
for my brown eyed boy



-j.m

this empty hole
is ******* the life out of me
what is this emptiness I feel
why can't anybody see
that I can't heal,
a black hole
in my soul
it rips and shreds
me apart
it's led to my doom
is this how it starts
with the room spinning
out of control
this is what the hole
of emptiness
does to me
I can no longer see
the light of hope
instead I see the rope
awaiting quietly
and silently
calling my name
what a shame
I became so fragile
who to blame
but me?


-j.m

waiting, waiting, waiting
and waiting
for a sign
that'll keep me alive
while the blade dives
and the blood shines
down my wrist
and my fist
pounds against the wall
and that one call
still keeps me
waiting

- j.m

i am a fighter
struggling for happiness
since it is something i do not know
it is a foreign feeling
a feeling my heart can't comprehend
and i will fight till
happiness is all i know
till i can smile
and tears will flow no more
tears will flow
no more.


-j.m