and then i stepped to the side
afterwards to the front
as the monitor shone

lights streaking in
omissions
of fingers
and
juxtapositions

imagining lilies
in the hands of someone
who's gone

leaving twenty years
in a wave
that has swept
well-kept lawns

and into the night
i made peace
with the owl that yawns

together we laughed
knowing we are still
prisoners of
that single step

frozen in flight
and done.

you talk
like lions roar
and shrug
like there's nothing
in the earth below
your heavy lisp
rings through the room
even as aproned women
scrape their brooms
you talk of recovery
you talk of gain
you talk like
you have never been pained
you talk of casinos
the tring of money
you talk of wealth
like it were milk and honey
you talk the talk
and then talk the walk
we make through the woods
you talk again
this time of stolen goods
we cross the river
you talk
we feel the night shiver
you talk
we dream of sleep
you talk
we avoid counting sheep
you talk

you talk
until we see
the sun come up
it is a crisp morning
ready to fill the cup
i wait to hear
from a world
i don't live in
but i am met
with a silence
that is
most enlivening
and that is
when i see you
for the first time
for what you are
your eyes
grey much dull
hiding the
ancient sadness
of giving up

A story from my past about a doll who had bones...

For her snaky body crackled with calcium
The weight of flesh ***** and ragged in pauses
Llithe light heavy her arms skinny and stout
Ready to enmesh anyone that came her way
Once it was Blue Beard and then some Santa Clauses
Of rustling coats sitting well on alien atoms
Polestars of the dark moulded to suit her thunder
Until it was turn for human ******* that her fears danced
In mad forms not unlike hers no doubt
She saw them heard them wished them out
She sought eyes for beads to end the trance
For there was comfort in plastic and forever it could last

I see you
A man wrought with tears of glass
Walking fraught with judgments fast
And a heart that secretly overflows

I see you
A woman scorned by ditsy destiny
Wrangling towards her own entity
And a heart that cries in the shadows

I see you
A child troubled by pleasured flights
Of fantasies, parental pain, unsteady sighs
And a heart that reigns in blows

I see you
All of you
Like I see me in the dark of doubt
Hours going on a jaunt with clouds
Streaming through
Like flocks of crows

I will see you
All of you
In pictures daintily kept
Swimming in boxes of crazy unkempt
Until thoughts take off
With this mind windswept

let not
the looking glass
lie in your face.
straight up now
face down
for the world around
it tells stories
of a time you have seen
and have not
chinks of glass
spring forth
like men of armour
they are there
rapt in shadows
even when you
turn to light
to find them
only to be met
by a dream moon
that dares
to show you the way
but also delude you
when you are
looking away
for when the waves
come on to jungle feet
the mangrove rests to say
there are colours
you will find to hide your face.
and so long
my love
this story too
shall pass.

You came to call me
A
jumble
of
feathers
Crashed into my sleep
Like
a
dream
too
terrible
You didn't say your name
But
why
would
you
Your silhouette moved
And
I
picked
up
the
axe
Whispers from another mother
There
is
only
a
bowl
to fill
Only too much blood on my hands

I will not tell you when my hands come down
In a strike of sword killing the earth
You will not know when lightning strikes my sky
Or crumbles the clods around my hearth
I will not talk of beaches we could have walked on
At this time of dreamless sleep and dearth
You will not ask me if the soil screamed out blood
And if my axe wrenched out all its mirth
We will assume silence like it were the only truth
Measuring our steps towards supposed worth

Then as the sun frowns upon another wasted day
We will look away as strangers would have preferred
Peering into the desert praying for another birth

Hush hush hush
The only words you taught
Me under a dim moon
Once upon a time
When love was gold
And we were thieves
Our legs carrying us
Further into the sea
Hush hush
My hair caught those
Only words of sweet shame
Not knowing
The incense would burn
Into ashen story
And we would be left
hushing
The desire to
Hush*
Under a brilliant night sky

splayed legs
on the edge of the bed
beaten and waxed
like some cake to be eaten

tied hands
fighting loose strands of black
blown into my face
by some cosmic faraway fan

sliced stomach
dripping of chaste promises
once made on the altar
ones that overstayed

chopped head
dancing in its place
ruining every grace
that this body has on offer

all of me
in so much glee
simply looking at the lie box
with letters from ghosts
love notes from bots
heavy with my reddest thoughts

why stare
like you have owls for eyes
blinking at wood
holding the kind of despair
your being cries
from years in the crust

why stop
with the chiming clock
guilty as you are
shoot those haloed words
and call me a liar
it's your chance to dare

my need for words
is like
brown candy bars
from days
where delight
grew in trees
and joy
travelled in
toy cars
when pieces
of my heart
were still intact
moving in rhythms
looking for friends
to join a pact
of bliss written
on walls
and roaming
the high streets
to find
good food stalls
that are now history
like candy bars
from the past
and cars one
could trust
to stay put
lined up
and boxed
like a heart
that knows
not where to start
putting together
the zillion pieces
the random shards
of people
who failed the pact
and walked the earth
in search of birds
for wings
they could not have
in search of words
they could
possibly sing