She invites me up,
And it has been so long
that it's the first time again.
Tumbling onto hot sheets,
Shirts, shorts, socks,
Everything innocent,
Everything snug,
Everything hot.
And suddenly lips,
And suddenly pulse,
And suddenly fingertips grazing
turn something inside me
turn to hands clutching and grasping,
and arching and pulling,
and the missing puzzle piece
is suddenly about to fill!
I know her -
is it...
could it be...
And she slides away.
She is me,
and she has had her fill,
But I am still hot.
I wake in sweat,
pulling layers
from my sticky flesh.
Even in my fevered dreams,
I am too much.

I have made the night mine,
no longer asking,
"May I accompany you?"
Instead, inquiring
"Would you like to accompany me?"
I have made the forests mine,
no longer requesting
"May I show you this place?"
Instead, fielding
"Will you show me this place?"
I have made the mountains mine,
no longer begging
"When shall we go?"
Instead,
Filling my calendar,
Filling my backpack,
Filling my heart
with what is mine
And going.

In May
The forest
Erupts
In aromas
"Did you miss me?"
It teases.

The mountain
Peaks
Denuded
Of white shawls
Flirt
With the sun.

My body
Subsists
Efficiently
On fruit,
Nuts,
And clear, cool melt
In May.

Drunk girl wants a cigarette
To re-taste the ash of past regret.
Drunk girl wants to straddle you
And kiss you 'til your lips turn blue.
Drunk girl must relieve her chest
And languidly expose each breast.
Drunk girl wants to cut footloose;
The mundane knots now form a noose.

Sober girl doesn't have the time.
Sober girl is much too grown.
Sober girl is married to years,
Married to plans,
Married to age,
Married, married, married.

But staying sober
Is so hard to do
Yes, liquor is quicker,
But drinking's not the only way yo
Get drunk off of you.

When I see the tension creep into your shoulders
As you hunch over your keyboard,
A spring coiling, about to explode -
When I hear the expletives crashing on walls
From outside my door -
When I can no longer breathe
The caustic, charged air -
I have two choices:
(I will not - can not fight)
I can freeze,
Make myself small,
Become the doe
With eyes locked straightforward,
Glassy, removed...
Or
I can grab the headphones,
Change into running shoes,
Caress my lithe curves,
And feed my body to the sky,
As I fly.
When you refuse to take care of yourself -
I must be my own protector,
And this fierce goddess
Is beholden to no one.

Serotonin
Stepping out into the sun
(To capture and convert UVs),
The navigator leads the run
And takes the charge of "where-to-be".

Endorphins
Breathing hard, all discord numb!
A high like never felt before
Feels so much like the liquid hum
Of sharing two, or three, (or four?)

Oxytocin
Splitting sides, we barely gasp,
Dreams afire burst forth and rush,
Time and praise are gifts we clasp,
We shudder-skip when fingers brush.

Dopamine
Rewarding sights come to the tough
And forming memories is my art.
Just sharing heights is sweet enough,
But anticipation rules my heart.

This fire
That he inspires
Has lived a million lives and
Died a million deaths.

The narrative's reinvented each time,
My hands pass over it each time,
The flame changes form each time.

Spring and rebirth,
Help to give this gift meaning
And shape this light into
Something helpful,
Something healthy,
Something new.