All these faltering words:

just a deal
I made with myself
as a personal reason
to keep breathing;

my own
hermetic language
designed for discourse
with the Divine,
with Madness.

When you think
you are reading them,
you aren't.

Really,
you are only
eavesdropping.

Listen too closely and
the worms may begin
to chew.

Not my responsibility.

- mce

Heart is numb, you wish you were someone else
Soul wants to flutter but trapped in this body
You're here and claim that you will stay
So why do I feel like you will go away?

You tell me that you don't think you're beautiful
You're lying to yourself, believing the words that others have said
I want you here my love, I want you to stay
Please please please don't go away

Stretch marks, fat, ugly, ******, wreck
I try to quell the flames
Stupid, worthless, disaster, I hate myself
It won't end.... It won't end....

I dreamed that I woke up alone in sorrow
I showered and got dressed for a wake
I cried because I was alone on the bed where we used to lay
Because you have decided to go away.

Did she offend you?
Baring her shoulders, her collarbones, her knees,
How risqué of her.
Dressed for comfort in the 90 degree weather,
She was asking for it, right?

Did you not break her?
Make her scared to wear what she wants or walk alone.
But she deserved that, didn't she?

Are you sorry for hurting her?
After you used her, she tried to **** herself three times,
All because you couldn't control yourself.
Was her body so distracting that you took away
Her whole life?

Kerouac said the only truth was music.
I suppose I agree,

"truth" is elusive
it means zip; no one cares.

the truth is like water between my fingertips,
air in my grasp,
a writer without a tragic backstory that you can probably sympathize with.
sorry.
the truth does not exist

we are here
how's that for elusive

meet me at our place,
at half past twelve.
you were the truest form of contentment.
the darkest form of light.
the secrets that I hide.
but meet me there,
and I will share...
whatever it is you have been wanting for all these years

because isn't that the truth?

*we're just here