Things I'll Never Say

May 2016

summer

All These Memories That I Gotta Let Go Of

i
don't
want to
think about
what i have to
say to you for the
time being because
that means having to
think back to everything
and all the emotions rise up
again and i don't know if i can
handle that right now in the midst
of all things complicated coated heavily
with all your lies and all the things you hide
because that means having to let go of it all, and
having to let go of you and to be honest, i don't know
if i am completely ready to do that, to lose you for more
than a lifetime, to lose you forever, for infinity, and to say goodbye

Things I'll Never Say Apr 2016

Sometimes it's not as easy as 1,2,3...

One love,
Two hearts,
This much I thought was true.
Three words,
Four affairs,
Five lies- the most hurtful being,
"I love you."

#love #heartbreak #hurt #jealousy #self-loathing #maddening

Things I'll Never Say Mar 2016

Incomplete

Sometimes all you need is for someone to listen,
Completely.
And tell you that they understand,
Completely.
And then maybe you'll feel,
Complete.

Would be nice...

#love #lost #tired #heartache #cracked #feelingblue

Feb 2016

Sarah Spang

Fall Apart or Carry On

I worry
For the unmoving mountain
Unable to move an inch
In the midst of an earthquake.
The shaking ground
Does not mean to destroy it
But it cannot be helped
When some things
Are just so obstinate.
They must survive
Or crumble.

The earth is changing beneath us all.
When the dust has settled,
Nothing will ever be the same.
Fall apart or carry on.

#change #earth #movingon #stubborn

Jan 2016

betterdays

sand in my shoe.

it is a small thing
like sand in my shoe
this grief that wears
away my soul

but it is there always
in small moments
of wanting
in words lost to the
unhearing ear
in laughter that echos
thin in empty air

i still see you everywhere
but you are a year gone
from here...

your scent fades upon
your clothes....
your voice dims within
my mind.....
but your kindness remains
forever stitched within
my heart...
and your smile, before
my eyes,

it is a small thing
this grief within
my soul...
like sand in my shoes
both pleasant and wearing

Things I'll Never Say Jan 2016

When Words Hurt...

Black words and White words,
Then there's Grey.
Grey words, because sometimes
Black words are too
Harsh,
Too crushing,
While White words
Can be too
Sharp,
Too cutting,
Too real.

I've always tried to stay clean,
Tried to whisper in
Words of white.
But it's like you're so used to being
Cast in a cloud of Black,
You can't see my white words,
They've been tarnished to
Grey... Black
And even all my tears
Can't wash them,
Or you,
Clean.

Words don't always just hurt the listener

#love #heartbreak #lies #truth #tears #hurt