His words pierce my heart
Like a razor sharp dagger
Twisting in deeper with every
Apparent truth.

Pain surges through me like
A current of high voltage
But I do not bleed.

No, instead I feel everything drain from my body,
Like a balloon that's been pricked,
It doesn't go with a bang or pop with excitement.
No, it dies a slow painful death as
The air seeps from its body, leaving it
Gasping for breath.

I fear he's given me the kiss of life for the last time,
This time he will leave his words to resonate in me,
And as they resound within,
I shall wither away.

A watched phone never rings
And the longing within
Never ceases.

His fractured heart
I'll never heal
For I too am in pieces.

Useless and stupid
I've proven to be
No more than just another hindrance
Far from what I strived to be, a loving light that eases.

If only the hands of time
Raced by as quickly
As the thoughts in my head
Please
Bring this day to end
So I can crawl under my duvet
Find comfort
In the darkness
And wait for a message
That might never arrive.

The wondering
The questioning
The worrying
The thinking
The overthinking
The sleepless nights
The tired days
All my fault
Because once he said sorry
For what was his fault
I said ok, and so
The blame afterwards became
My own fault.

Jealousy is a loaded gun,
And you made each of their names
Bullets in my chamber.

The end of the barrel
Kisses me softly,
Between the eyes,
Where you used to.
And as you twirl them all round in a Russian Roulette
My finger quivers over the trigger.

Sweat makes it impossible to grip
And thinking back makes it
Impossible
To think forward...
What next?

You cocked it,
The gun,
So I'm ready to go.
I think...

Until, you reach out and try to save me.
Your hand touching mine
Losens my grip on the gun,
My finger becomes limp and I come back to life as
Your promises disarm me,
Your reassurance unloads the gun and
The bullets become evanescent in your kiss.

Have you ever had a day where it's just been
Bliss,
And waiting to end it is a welcoming home
Kiss...