soph - Hello Poetry

soph Oct 2018

Sky

the vast spectrum that is the sky above
in the light of day
your warmth radiates like a thousand suns
in the dark of night
your eyes twinkle like a thousand stars
let me stretch my arms open wide
and take in every ounce of you
until my heart fills to the brim
pull me close
whisper my name
my heart will shout in response
the kind of love that fills you up
and makes you dance
underneath the sky
a painted sunset
white cotton clouds
beauty beyond compare
I’m mesmerized by the moon
smitten by the stars
you are the sky
and every perfect thing in it

you know you’ve hit a low when you’re writing love poetry about an imaginary person/scenario
I’m *finger guns* lonely

#sky #stars #love #infatuation #imagination

soph Sep 2018

Tired

wake up
swallow pills
try to stomach something
stare at myself in the mirror
until i don’t recognize that face
getting those messages daily
people envying my life
wishing they could be me
if only they knew
the exhaustion i feel
hiding behind a mask
to keep myself safe and comfortable
many are at arm’s reach
but very few are pulled in closer
fine
i’m fine
really
i promise
no negative emotions here
no real sadness or anger
just an eerie feeling of numbness
pushing my emotions farther and farther away
without anything to replace them
don’t understand?
just step into my world
constant poking and prodding from people clad in scrubs and lab coats
faint whispers of people picking apart how i dress and act and love
the future is dizzying
with my obstacle course of an existence
life is a game
of comparison and competition
just let me sit on the sidelines for awhile
please
i need to rest
but for now
slap on a smile
meme myself into a good spot
throw in my earbuds and forget
take some more pills
flop into bed
but no matter how much i sleep
i’ll still be tired

this is a HIGHLY dramatized version of some of the things I’ve been thinking and feeling lately

#tired #numb

soph Sep 2018

Earthquake

There was that calm before the storm
Before this part of my world was rocked
The seismic shakes of anxiety ripped through me
My jaw clattering
My limbs vibrating
As the night went on
The dust of betrayal and self-hatred began to settle
Who was the catalyst of all of this?
If only I could really tell
Recovery from a disaster takes time
As I gather my thoughts
And clear the dust
I think of where to go from here
After the earthquake

I’m not even sure what to put here for this one?? idk enjoy

#earthquake #anxiety #disaster

soph Sep 2018

Glass III

Sitting down with them
The glass wall is still there
My mind is worried, yet hopeful
Unsure of what’s to come
Suddenly
They punch through the glass
The shards fly in slow motion
Striking into my heart
Like the words they just uttered
They broke the glass
Because someone broke the trust
My wounded heart sinks into my stomach
I have no idea what’s to come
Now that the glass is broken
I feel vulnerable
Naked on a stage in front of hundreds
I don’t feel well
While they say it’s alright
I’m still uneasy
The words of comfort are bandaids on my wounds
There’s no putting the glass back together
While this wall shouldn’t exist in a perfect world
It made me feel safe
But now
I don’t know what to think
Or how to feel
Now that the glass is broken

well

uh

tonight was weird

my entire body is still shaking

enjoy this continuation to the series

#glass #series

soph Aug 2018

Memory

Take this feeling
Savor this moment
Bottle it up
Never let it go
Smile
Breathe it in
Let the peace surround you
In the coming days
Close your eyes
Bring your mind back to this place
Stay there forever

I’ve gotten into the habit of being in an amazing place both physically and mentally and thinking “soak this in. savor the moment. enjoy it while you can”

#memory #love

soph Aug 2018

Incomplete

I flip through the pages of old school notebooks
Just to see what can be saved
Memories come flooding back
From my last taste of normal teenage life
Quizzes, vocabulary, homework
The work becomes more and more scarce as I move through time
Absent
Absent
Present
Absent
Until I run out of pages
An empty entry for February 14
And no new entries after that
I long for the normalcy again
When I had the strength for everyday life
I never thought I’d miss the real high school experience
But looking back
Something in me feels incomplete
Just like that empty entry
February 14

February 14th was unexpectedly my last day of public school due to my health conditions. It’s weirdly sentimental to look back and see my public school life slowly come to an end as I missed more and more school. Since when do I type with proper grammar in the notes section of my poems? Here’s a key smash to make this more like me dhdhsjsj

#incomplete #school #sentimental #reminiscing #illness

soph Aug 2018

Mountains

I miss the mountains
Giant peaks stretching into the sky
Softly frosted with wispy clouds
Coated with emerald green grass and trees
I feel at home in the mountains
The crisp air filling my lungs
The solid rock beneath my feet
Trekking through the trails and relaxing by the river
As I ascend back into the sky
The mountains beckon to me
“Come back soon”
“Stay for awhile”
I stare longingly as the mountains disappear into the distance
I want to whisper back
“Don’t you worry
I’ll be back
And I won’t leave again”

it was ROUGH leaving north carolina today even besides the fact that I’ll miss my aunt and uncle. it’s just the perfect environment for me and I want nothing more than to live there when I’m older

#mountains #travel #love