She stands there waiting
Waiting for her universe to collide into another

Yes she loves to be alone, to feel solitude, to live in her own ways

But she also wants to feel alive, to feel important to someone, to feel love and be loved

She smiles alot but at the end of the day she is just a baby girl crying over a spilled chocolate drink

She wants someone who will wake her up from the nightmare of life

Someone who will be the light in her darkest moments

And someone like Iron Man that will save her from a killer she wants to avoid…

Her rational mind

Her unending question

Save her

She’s waiting for you

And none of them realize
The effort it takes to get out of bed
To go outside for the day
And face all of my fears
None of them realize
How tiring it can be
To pretend.

This is not a love poem
I do not love you
Although I know I could
This is not a love poem
This is not a questioning
But a way of saying
I care more than I let on
A way of confessing
I think about you
More than I wish I did
I wish I could hate you
It would be much easier that way
I could write about it
And move the **** on
But I am stuck
Aware of the time I am wasting
By contemplating it all
By thinking too deeply
I can guarantee you
This is not a love poem
If it was
I would speak about the light in your eyes
How your smile
Is one of the brightest things I have ever seen
Your personality
One of the most addicting
If this was a love poem
I would tell you how much I want to kiss you
I would outline your lips with metaphor
Compare your tongue to honey
Write your body into a sonnet
And tell you how badly I crave it
I would tell you
How much
I long to be with you
How I want to waste
All of my moments with you
I would tell you
Everything I wish we could do
But this is not a love poem
So instead
I will tell you of how badly I want to slap you
Tell you that I hate you
That I want absolutely nothing to do with you
But the problem is
None of that is true
I could very well
Write you a love poem
But I don't think it would do much
I still don't think it would be enough
To make you have enough time for me
And the thing is
You are far too busy
For a girl who has all of the time in the world
She will never admit she's been waiting
But is a ticking clock in disguise
So much time has already been spent counting
All of the seconds
Each minute
Every hour
Days are milestones
Time is limited
It is better spent together
And I would much rather
Be alone with you
But this
Is not a love poem
I cannot incite beauty in something inconsistent
There is no romance
Only disappointment
And let downs
They are easy enough
To get used to
Do not ask me why I have trust issues
Ask everyone who has ever left
My hands do not touch without prints
Without leaving some sort of permanence
They say stay
Don't go
I want so badly
To push you away
But stay
Don't go
Because the way I think of you is a love poem
The way I speak about you is a love poem
The way that I talk to you is a love poem
The way that I can't get you off of my mind and out of my head is a love poem
The way I claim to hate you, avoid you, and pretend to despise you is a stupid ******* love poem
You are the love poem I cannot stop writing
This is a ******* love poem
This is my surrender
So please stay,
Don't go.

As I was listening to the song I'd rather by Luther Vandross, I pressed stop before it ends.
Because I find myself staring at a blank space thinking of you
And my mind suddenly thought of the things I would like to say to you but I can't
I wish I could say,
"I'd rather be blind than to never to see you again"
"I'd rather be deaf than to never hear you laugh"
"I'd rather have no hands if I can no longer have the chance to hold yours"
"I'd rather have no heart if you won't let me love you"
But again, I can't.
I want to say "I miss you"
But I can't.
I want to say "Please love me too"
But I can't
I cannot because I'm afraid
Not afraid of the answer
But to myself that I may not be able to let go all my feelings for you
Sorry, but I can't.