I'm constantly being punished
Always apologizing for who I am
Having to apologize for your feelings all the time has a way of making a person hate themselves
Making them feel like theres something wrong with them
Im tired of feeling wrong
Im tired of being disconnected
Im just SO.  *******.  TIRED.
Cant i be enough?
For anyone
For once
I want to be enough for those i love
But I'm not

Theres a parasite in my brain that eats away at my memories everyday
I lose more and more of them in every way
I think that if i could just remember everything thats happened that i will be okay and that everything will make sense and i wont be so sad
Remembering will make me understand again
And i plead with a god that i dont have but need to grant me my memory
And i spend my time in my hypocritical ways expecting help but maybe its better this way
Memories are in the past for a reason
Maybe they arent all needed

I was laying in bed and I moved over so i could see the stars
And i laid there and thought about why it is that
Tortured souls hold the highest places in my heart
Theres something about going through the pain of a life that makes a person more beautiful then innocence ever could

I can be very quiet.
Sometimes, I'm so quiet, I don't utter a word.
I stay here, oh so quietly.
Listening to you mutter your sins.
I listen, oh so patiently.
And comfort your hurt within.
And I wait, oh so desperately.
For my turn to release my burdens.
But by the time your done
And I'm ready to not be, oh so quiet
You smile and leave.
Satisfied from leaving your troubles with another.
And I want, oh so badly
To let go of all I know.
But you've left, oh so quickly
Completing the give and take.
I give and give and you take and I lose all  hope in an even exchange.
So the cycle starts again, and I'm oh so ready to let go.
But by the time they're done repenting,
I'm still left with all I know.

Im desperate to be remembered
Its because I'm selfish
The deep urge causing my pain
I just want to be selfless
Remembered for the joy brought into others lives
I want to be remembered
Not only for tonight
I needed you
To need me
I needed you to not want everything
I couldn't give you
I need you to need me
Not only for tonight

I know I can't have you, I just want to be a good chapter in your life.

Such a frail little thing
The edge of this teapot
One wrong touch and I could see it shatter the world
One wrong caress, a wrong word with a double edge
The wrong way, the wrong light, the wrong love
Such a frail little thing
So many ways to torture
But it can't go through life untouched
They hit it hard and fast and take away its structure
They place it where it doesn't go and expect it to stay
Such a frail little thing could break under the pressure of a life that takes to much before it gives
So let's strap it with tape and love while it'***** and protect it for as long as we can
And when the day comes that it finally starts to break we can only hope that it's ready to stand.