When you push fear of failure from the back door,
The main door of success gets open itself!

I want the kind of love
That's quiet

Quiet like tea and a blanket in the morning

I want a love that's soft
That's honest and deep and true
That's always there

Love that's not for show
Or for power
But love simply because love is felt

I want a love that accepts and encourages
I want a love that embodies peace

The smile of her eyes  .  .  .
Sun giving birth to sparkle,
  .  .  .  Waves on bright water.

As I lie on pastures 
Along the grimes of these woods
Breathing in the morning dew
I feel awakened and anew
Past sins washed away like the streaming river
Wondering if I've live till forever.

But then I look up to you. 
Your face looks shiny and 
new. The angels are gathered 
around you with their harps 
and violins. Singing that I’m free 
of my past sins. I think this is 
the beginning of something 
beautiful and not the end. Hand 
me my pallet and set the canvas 
up for I will paint a portrait of us. 
While the winds ruffle through the 
curls of your hair and the leaves of
the big old oak tree. I try to speak 
up words of love but it almost seems 
that the morning dew has set a flood 
from within. Come over dear and rest 
your bones with me while I draw this
portrait using my blood and tears. Oh 
darling won’t you rest your bones over 
here next to me under this big old oak tree.

Your beauty akin to the moon
Forever gleaming in her prowess
Shadows mortify at the thought of you
Your light begets hope thrusting miracles
I've been praying all my life
Stay with me my dear
As these woods as our witnesses 
We vow to be forever rooted from the veins to our beating hearts.
Now come closer dear and dance 
with the ventricles of my heart* ~

Broken in repetitions 
Lying stagnant in defeat 
It's only been one girl
But my heart's barely breathing
 It took me years to love again
It's not that easy to just say hi or hey
Not just any girl to fall in dismay
The heart's recovering from the past pain

I wish it would hurry up,
I wish time would run its course,
my mind has become detached,
and my heart I wish to divorce.
this pain is ebbing away,
in the dark depths of my soul,
it is not so easy to fill a gap,
when all that is left is a hole.

Pushing away every viable ardor
Beats of fragments danced in my head
Every girl that came with open arms
Lure me with expectations that never seem to last
Those sweet nothings will gave me infinite hope of catching feelings
Always shutting the door and locking it.

But this door can only stay locked for so long,
I've lost sight of what is right and what is wrong,
such expectations have destroyed me helplessly,
I've been choking on my pain, breathlessly.
when they came around, I was full of vitality,
and now they're gone, I've been living rather absently*.

The milk of human kindness,
a bitter tincture to swallow,
hold the nose, sip it down,
malaise caught in a furrowed frown,

never to bite the hand that feeds,
just gnaw at the skin until it bleeds
the masters table has room for all,
fain take our fill from the crumbs that fall.

A sea green glimmer in the pitch black of repeating breaths and unheard goodbyes.
Something about them I hope I never forget
Stitching up the seams of every broken thing.
The vivid music of silence and mirroring love.